Online dating?? Curious but reluctant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2003
Online dating?? Curious but reluctant.
3
Sun, 09-28-2003 - 10:13am
Hello,

I wanted to ask if any of you had any insight of the online dating sites such at Kiss.com or Lavalife.com? I am very curious but very reluctant and it seems too easy and maybe a bit misleading. I also have a concern about safety. Not sure what to think.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Sun, 09-28-2003 - 11:27am
Hi,

I have not used those sites but have used match.com. The concepts are the same though, I think. I think you are wise to have concerns about safety, but I think that if you are careful online dating can be done safely. For instance, when you are writing to a guy, do not give him your full name (I use my first name only, though some people don't even give their first name). When you meet for the first time, do not have him pick you up - instead, meet him there, and make it a public place where there are a lot of people around. Tell someone else where and when you are meeting him. I give guys my cell phone # only, not my home or work #s. Some people don't give out any #, but instead ask the guy for his number and call him. Before I meet a guy, I do not give out personal details such as where I live or work - most guys I've met are perfectly normal, but occasionally you will run into a creepy guy (just as you would anywhere in life) and then you will be glad that he doesn't know where you live.

One other thing to keep in mind is that with online dating, you really can't tell whether you will click w/someone until you meet him in person. I've had plenty of guys who I thought were great from emails and phone conversations, then when we met in person, I felt no interest in him and/or he felt no interest in me. So if you decide to do it, don't get your hopes up about any particular guy until you've gone out a few times.

Someone organized a thread of online dating tips on another board that has a lot of useful tips - here it is:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlthirty&msg=8772.1&ctx=128

Good luck!

ginger

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 10:05pm
Safety is up to you! When ever we meet someone new no matter what the venue is, we take possible risks. But it is in your control. ALWAYS meet in a public place the first time and NEVER give your home phone number or even the town you live in unti you have meet for the first time and feel comfortable with this person. They can look up a home address by reverse phone number lookup on the internet- unless you have an unlisted number or give them your cell phone number. Never agree to go into his car, or allow him to pick you up! First date should be looked at as a general meeting not even a date. You will know right away if this is someone you would like to get to know or not. Trust your instincts.

If someone gets offended becuase you wish to conduct the 1st meeting this way, MOVE ON. Trust me, it is not someone you would want to get to know. If they don't respect your need for safety and privacy in the begining!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 8:27am
Hi there,

I was on match.com for a while and then beginning of this year I switched over to lavalife.com. I liked both services and have met a few real great guys there. No real bad experiences except maybe one but that was my fault as well. I can just reccomend them as a great way to meet new people and get into contact easily. Of course hold in mind all the security tips the previous posters have given to you nad hold your expections low in the beginning. Always better to search for a friend and find a lover than the other way round.

Oh yes, and I just got engaged a week ago and I met my guy this February on.... TOOT! TOOT!....lavalife! So I guess I may should recoomend that service more than the others ;-)

All the best,

Nicole