online dating promotes pickiness?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2005
online dating promotes pickiness?
2
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 8:13pm

I have been dating online for about 3 months. There are so many guys online that I think I've become somewhat numb to most of them. By saying that, I mean that I find at least one (if not more) flaw in most all of them. It could be height, income, too many smiley faces in their profile, misspelled words...my point being, years ago, before online dating, many of these guys I might have gone out with--because we would have met in person and I might have liked them (having not compared them to at least 50 others...) One guy I saw a couple of times and I never called him back because he was double jointed and I didn't like his laugh (I NEVER would have discarded someone because of that before). I just feel like, the older I get, the more pickier I am--subconsciously.

I'm not sure if I've just not met my soulmate, or I am just different (less accepting because of my age and life's experiences), or if online dating has allowed my expectations to rise so high that no one can fulfill them. Does anyone else out there feel this way at all?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 10:02pm

You wrote: I just feel like, the older I get, the more pickier I am--subconsciously.

I agree and I know I do it; heck I think most of us do it because with OLD it allows you to be extra picky.

My new resolution right now is to really think about what's important and be more open minded. My biggest thing is I love a killer personality with charm, charisma, edge - you know what - so do most women and that's why these types of guys will always be in high demand. So that's something I'm also looking at, do I really need that type of man in my life to be happy as long as he's engaging in some way via conversation as that is important to me.

I think if we all step back, we are all picky more than we should be and it's not settling it's saying ok, reality check, no one will fit all your boxes so decide what is important.

I will agree when you have sampled so many types it makes it harder in a way because if this guy isn't funny you have dated others that are. Or if this guy doesn't like sushi, other guys enjoy it as much as you. Or maybe you like trendy restaurants and the new guy is not into it. Or maybe you like a suit and tie guy and your friend fixes you up with the a beach boy - god, the list is endless, LOL!!!!!!

Funny!

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 11-24-2005 - 11:47am

Hi,

I think it can go either way. I agree that some people tend to try to one up themselves and get a *better* match and keep looking even though they have found a good person they are already seeing, etc....maybe there is more failure to commit??? I do not agree totally though. I think I was just as picky in life before online dating as I am now. I turned down a few....Now, I have met a great guy....and it happened all too fast!

Sara