Is Online Dating Safe?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Is Online Dating Safe?
3
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 11:01am
My name is Amy. I'm in my early 30's. I'm thinking of trying online dating just for fun. I want to know is it safe? I've heard horror stories of women meeting men who end up kidnapping or killing them. So what precautions should I take to prevent something like this, also which online dating services are the best. I've considered match.com and eharmony, which one is the safest? I've also heard of a site called true.com. Which one do you recommend?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 11:21am

Welcome to the board!

For the most part, online dating (OLD) IS safe. The main thing is to be SMART about it! Take a little time to get to know someone via email and on the phone before you meet but a very little time - you don't want to spend too much time chatting with someone building up false expectations of who someone is. That usually leads to disappointment down the line. When you do meet them, do NOT let them pick you up. Drive yourself or have someone else drive you to a public, well lit place of your choosing (if possible). Let someone you trust know where you are going, how long you plan to be gone and if you feel really nervous - have them call you at some time during the meeting to make sure you're OK and/or don't need to be "rescued" from at least a bad date!

Also, keep in mind that until you spend a lot of time with someone, you don't know them at all. Don't let them come to your house or go to theirs or ride in a vehicle with them for the first few meets.

On the not talking forever, most of the horror stories I have heard are these poor women who develop some kind of "relationship" with someone that winds up swindling them out of thousands of dollars because the women say they love this schmo they have never even met. It's very sad really - but know that you don't know them so keep on your guard! As for kidnapping or anything - as long as you take the security measures above, you really reduce your risk. Don't be alone with him for that first meet or until you feel comfortable.

As for sites, that really seems to be up to the individual and the area you are in. Match is the most popular but as for me, I hate it. I have met only one person from there and in my area, I think guys are usually looking for the bigger better deal on there. Same thing with Yahoo. I have met several guys from eHarmony but there has been no chemistry with any of them. For that site, I recommend completing the profile but waiting to sign up for a while. First, see the number and kinds of matches they send you - I get a ton but some are not ones I am interested in. Also, if you hang out long enough without signing up, they will send you a promotional deal that lets you get 3 months for one - since they are a bit expensive, that's a good deal. I don't know anything about true.com but have not heard great things about it.

Anyway, if you are careful, it can be safe. And there are several success stories out here so you never know. At least it gets you out and meeting new people and trying different things! Good luck - go for it!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 3:24pm
It's as safe as you make it. Match, eharmony and true are not responsible for your safety, you are responsible for your safety. So read some books and take the advice of people here and most likely you won't have a problem.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 10:29am

Hi Amy!


Welcome to the board.


Online dating is just a vehicle for meeting people.

CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;