online friend of 7 years/ wants to meet

Avatar for nefehunter24
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2003
online friend of 7 years/ wants to meet
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 9:14pm
Okay, here goes. I have been really good online friends with a guy for 7 years now. We were really good friends online for 5 1/2 years until I got engaged. He was always the person I called for advice or just someone to talk to, my best friend, I could talk to him about anything. I had to be in a hospital 1000 miles away from home because of a car accident. He sent me a dozen roses and called me to check in on me alot, I was in the hospital for 17 days so I was homesick, he made me feel so much better. My B/F at the time didn't even have time for me (always busy when I called him) so this guy was a very good friend when I needed him. I never thought there was any possibility of meeting because I was not the type of person to meet anyone offline. After I got engaged I lost contact with him for about a year because of my husbands jealousy. Then, he got engaged. I got married but due to abuse by my husband & his cheating, I filed for divorce. I have now been divorced for a year. During my marriage, my husband was not home alot (now I know why) so I had e-mailed my old friends, one day I decided to write a couple times to see how things were going with him, but never got a reply so I stopped writing. About 2 months ago this friend, who also talks to my aunt, asked her for my screen name because we had lost contact and he wanted to see how I was, he didn't know I was divorced yet. We started talking again and we are still like best friends. We talk on the phone & we still have everything in commom. I asked him when he was gettig married and asked how his plans were going...he told me that his fiancee had broke off the wedding because she wasn't ready for a LTR. She was about 4 years younger than he is. He is the same age that I am. Come to find out she is the one who kept reading my e-mails and deleting them. He asked why I never wrote to him and I told him I had. That is when he had told me that his fiancee had used his name. He didn't think he had a reason to not trust her with it. He said he tried to write a few times but because I had canceled my account when I got engaged and started a new account with my husband so he couldn't write to me. So, we figured out how we lost contact with each other. We both said how much we missed talking to the other person. When we first started talking I liked him but never told him. The problem was that I still really like him, it has never really went away. Last week I told him that I liked him and he said he really liked me too. He said he was too shy to tell me years earlier and thought I wasn't interested in him more as a friend. He said he was going to ask if we could meet but didn't want to make me uncomfortable. We live about 1500 miles apart. My mother adores the guy (she has talked to him online and over the phone) and when I told her about meeting him she asked why we didn't meet years ago. Do you think it would be a good idea to meet this guy or do you think we are rushing it? I don't want to ruin our friendship on something like that. Any advice would be appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 9:52pm
I definitely think you should meet him and I don't think you are rushing things. You two obviously know each other very well and the only way you are going to know if you can take things from friendship to a romantic relationship is to meet. Maybe there will be chemistry, maybe not, but at least you will have met your great friend in person.

Before I met my guy in person, we both talked about the possible outcomes on the phone. We agreed that we thought things would work out, but if they didn't, at least we had found a great friend in each other. So, when we met we had that expectation to fall back on and it made it much easier. Turns out there was lots and lots of chemistry, so most of the worrying was for naught. But having that talk made things easier on both of us.

And hey, if your mom already likes the guy, you definitely can't go wrong! :) Moms seem to have a great intuition about guys.

Good luck and let us know what you decide and how it goes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Mon, 07-14-2003 - 9:34am
Welcome to the board!! MEET HIM!!! OMG! How much more destiny can you get in this situation??!! I would say, after reading the ups and downs of this connection you two have, it is meant to be. Somehow, some way you two came back together. Now, you being divorced, him no longer getting married, how much more perfect can it get? Hello!! The signs are all there!! Go meet him and get this relationship going girl. You say rushing??? Excuse me, lets say this meeting is long over due!! Girl, go get that man. There is a reason why he is back in your life and at the right time I will add, so go on. Meet and get happy!! keep us posted!!!

Gail :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Tue, 07-15-2003 - 6:44am
Hi, yes go girl and meet him, who knows you two were 'born' for each other. Just like gail said it's a sign, a good sign and timing for both of you to meet. He's been with you all along so don't delay it no more...Good luck and keep us posted.