Online guy very nice but....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Online guy very nice but....
13
Fri, 11-17-2006 - 7:02pm

So, I went on a nice date with this online guy. He wasn't as attractive as his picture. His picture he had his sunglasses on so it sort've disguised his looks. So I wasn't too keen on his appearance.

But, he is very, very nice. A real gentleman. He picked me up, made sure the car was warm enough, took me to this great restaurant and let me order everything off the menu. Hes very smart, successful, classy, intelligent conversation, complimented me, etc... But I don't know if I feel any spark, I'm not attracted to his looks. However, he is such a gentleman he'd be a great catch for any woman.

My question is - would you give this guy a chance?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Fri, 11-17-2006 - 8:10pm

Well...its not all about the physical - you know as women hate to be judged upon our looks - whether or not we are beautiful or beauty-less...its all about the inside of a person...Something to consider did you have any chemistry? Did you enjoy each others company? Were you able to hold each others interest?

Me..I would give it another chance...I mean if its not the "Love Connection" you are seeking, at least it is someone who is nice to you, is a gentleman and makes you feel good about yourslef...There is nothing more flattering than having that feeling of someone who really wants to be with you...It may not be the LTR you are looking for...but give it and him and chance - you may be surprised...

Cheers
Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Fri, 11-17-2006 - 11:03pm
I would definately give it another chance. I met a guy online where we had instant connection via IM. I finally met him offline and he looked different, so I was kind of turned off. But by the thrid date I was hooked, and 3 1/2 years later he's now my husband.
hello
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 12:42am

It would depend on whether I at least felt *some* attraction. If I couldn't at least imagine kissing him, then I wouldn't go out with him again. But if I could least imagine it (without feeling the ick) then I'd probably give it another shot.

But did I read that right--it was your first meet and he picked you up????

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 8:41am
Yes, you read it right. I know its not the right thing to do but I got good vibes from him so...
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 10:49am

Well, good vibes or not, it's better to be safe than sorry and meet in public. Safety first!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 10:55am

I would give him a chance if you think his looks could grow on you. Spend some more time with him, you may be surprised that he is suddenly very appealing. When I first met my x-bf I wasn't attracted to his looks, but he seemed great otherwise. I stayed with him for 2 yrs and did grow to adore his looks. Give who he is a chance to shine through.

However, if you feel repulsed when you look at him, then that is much more extreme and I could understand not wanting to get close to that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 11:43am

I know, safety first! LOL. But it all worked out in the end, right??

I know I shouldn't be so shallow because he seems to be a really nice guy. However, he was quite big and beefy in real life. His picture he looked big but not that big. I know its just the way hes built. I should've asked him for another picture from the beginning so I wouldn't be surprised. I look like a midget next time him - haha.

But then, hey, who knows, he may not ask me out again. LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 9:43pm

He asked me when I want to go out again.

I really don't think I'm interested in him romantically. I had to tell him I'll get back to him as I have to see when I'm free, which is true because I have my child during the week and I really hate sending her to someone else.

I must be crazy - hes really nice and successful in every other way except I'm just not attracted to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 9:58am

Do you enjoy talking to this guy? Is he funny? Does he find you funny? I think that maybe you should go out with him one more time and really try to focus on his personality and how it fits with your personality. I know when I first went out with my current BF, I wasn't 100% attracted to him, I thought he was just okay, but he found me so hillarious and I felt so good going out with him, that I just kept doing it. Now, 5 months later, I really can't keep my hands off! So, you never know...

I know that personally, I can get wrapped up in things like "he's so successful," "all these other girls would kill to date him," etc. And that's all well and good (I dated A LOT of guys like that) but what really matters is if you two click. My current BF is definitely one of those guys that a lot of girls were after, but so were about 10 other guys I went out with, but I didn't click with any of them, so it really didn't matter.

So anyway, I'd say give him another shot and try and focus on things other than how he looks and how successful he is and instead, focus on how he makes you feel and if you enjoy talking to him and being around him. If you do, it really is worth a shot, in my opinion. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 5:26pm
No, I'm just going to move on. He hasn't even called to say hi. He only asked for another date because I was the one to email and say hi. Either hes not too into me or hes not aggressive and I think it says alot about a person if they can't pick up the phone to call. I like guys who are more confident than that.

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