Online Romance

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Online Romance
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 12:44pm

A little over a month ago I met a very nice guy online while i was playing an online game.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 8:15pm

This is not, I repeat, NOT a romance. You don't know each other. You have an "idea" in mind of what the other person is like but it's not reality. I have felt like I have made "friends" w/ some of the people on certain boards on IVillage that I have been on for a long time and you do express a lot of inner feelings, probably more than to the real friends, but I don't think they are actually my friends, more like a pen pal would have been in the old days before computers. I have actually met some of the people in real life too--people who lived near to me, so that I felt if we hit it off, we could have a real friendship. For the people who are far away & who I will probably never meet, well, it's nice to talk to them on line, but I don't expect them to take the place of my real life friends.

Since you actually met this guy on a gaming site instead of a dating site, do you know that he's even interested in dating? I mean, you assume that most people who are on a dating site are actually interesting in finding someone to meet IRL (Yes, I know there are people who will just jerk you around & never meet) but maybe he says all these things about wanting to meet you but it's more like a game to him or a fantasy, like yes it would be nice to meet, but he'll never do it. It's also a lot easier sometimes to type things out in an IM rather than talk to someone on the phone. So I wouldn't push him to call you, rather the next time that he says stuff about meeting, maybe you can discourage that and then say you would rather talk on the phone first.

And not to be your mother here, but have you considered safety? You basically gave a stranger your home address. Sure you are long distance, but what's to stop him from showing up at your house if he's a nut? In OLD I wouldn't give out my home address or even home phone no until I had met the person IRL first. And even then you have to be a little cautious.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2009
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 9:55pm

You really don’t know anything about this man, you’ve never met, and you’re calling it a “romance”?

He might be married or in a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Fri, 01-15-2010 - 12:22am

Hi blondegreen,

Welcome to Online Dating. I see you've already gotten some great advice here from others, but I just wanted to add a few thoughts.

It is hard to know if someone is really nice when you've only chatted online. That's the danger and appeal for many of the internet--it allows them to be someone they are not.

Perhaps your online friend is sincere and really is

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb