ONLINE SAFETY....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
ONLINE SAFETY....
7
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 8:37am
Good Morning Everyone,
I wanted to ask what safety rules you all set for yourselves when trying to meet new people online.
Last month I met a guy in my area on the site and since we seemed to hit it off right away I gave him my aol handle to chat. After awhile of casual chatting about work, family, etc... he asked me for my phone number. I told him that I didn't feel comfortable giving that out and he did a complete 180 and got very nasty all of a sudden. He started calling me names and threatening me because I wouldn't give him my number. He kept harassing me while I tried to block him. Needless to say I was very shaken since this guy could of probably easily tracked me down.
This really suprised me since we had chatted for an hour and he came across as a normal great guy at first. I guess nothing should suporise me but it struck me how vulnerable you can be just chatting online.
Just from a casual chat it wouldn't of been hard for him to find my workplace since he knew what town I work in and what field and also we had talked about what kind of cars we drive. I am very trusting and don't give out actual addresses but I knew he had enough info to look for me if he wanted to.
Of course now I am paranoid to give out any info but alot of potential matches are put off by being closed to giving out info.
I wanted to find out what you all do when it comes down to sharing and explaining why you hold back personal info.
Any other safety tips and advice on the right time to share stuff would be appreciated.
Butters :)
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 11:33am

I have a cell phone that I give out for dating--for the time being at least, you can't do reverse look up for cell phone numbers (at least not without paying $$) so it's relatively anonymous. I also have an email account on yahoo that I use that I made sure doesn't show my name in the from or to line (just the email address handle), so the guy doesn't know more than my first name when we meet. And of course I meet for coffee in a public place when we meet for the first time and don't have him pick me up at home for at least the first few dates.

Sorry to hear that guy got all abusive on you...but at least he showed his colors early on!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 11:57am

Yikes!

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 12:09pm

I only give my cell phone and one (usually my Match.com designated) email address until we've gone out a handful of times and I feel that things are headed in the right direction.

Other than that, I generally like to meet for a drink/appetizers in a restaurant, and I positively never have the guy pick me up for at least the first few dates.

By the third date, I usually ditch the wig and tell him my "real" first name. Just kidding. ;P

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 9:37pm

Personally, I do the following before I meet guy -

Only tell him what city I live in
Use a random Yahoo email address
Meet in public place
Tell a friend where I'm going
Not give him my last name
Not give him the name of my company
Only give him my cell phone number (ok, so it's my ONLY number, but still - it means I'm unlisted in the phone book and you can't find me that way)

Eek. I just ran my first name and city of residence through the FAA airmen registry, and my address popped up even without a last name (I had a very resourceful stalker find me that way once in college, which is why I don't give my last name anymore). Guess I might have to reconsider telling men what city I live in, too.

I sound really paranoid, but it stems from the above experience in college. :-)







iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 11:02pm

Hey Sheri,


I have a Yahoo email address that I thought was anonymous until I tried to send myself a tester this morning. I sent an email from my Yahoo account

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 1:22am

No, sorry, I don't...I don't have AOL. I guess I'd better hope that no one I email with does either, it sounds like!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 10:32am

I don't know if this will matter, but have you looked at the Yahoo profile info you have on the account?

heather 5-18-10