online when you're 60

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
online when you're 60
14
Sun, 08-05-2012 - 8:50pm

I put my profile on Match about two weeks ago and got a 3-mt. membership and put 59 on my profile even though I'm 60, so I wasn't sure if I would get any response.  Things have kind of slowed up, and I'm just wondering if it's a lost cause.   I do have one I'm supposed to meet later this week.  Should I also join a free site, too, or start hangin the bar scene?  I really can't join any clubs right now, because of work and finances, little free time.  That seems to go hand in hand with being single.  I decided not to do Match's Stir event happy hr., because I think everyone will be younger.   They will have more of these in the future.  Maybe I should just get a cat.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 08-05-2012 - 10:20pm

Hi Stefson--I'm going to be 55 in a week.  I think it's the general consensus that OLD is difficult when you're over 50, even though I keep reading statistics that say that baby boomers are the fastest growing group on OLD and a higher percentage of boomers use it than young people--probably because young people have more options for meeting in person.  I think if you already got a guy to meet in the 1st 2 weeks that's pretty good.  Of course you get a lot of interest as a new member.  You could also try free sites--no harm in that, but a lot of people seem to be on multiple sites.

As far as hanging out in bars, I think that's kind of pathetic for someone in our age group--you have to choose your venue carefully.  It seems to me that older guys go to places that focus on dancing.  You don't want to be hanging out in a bar that has 20 yr old people there.  You could always check out a meetup group for people your age--it doesn't cost money to join.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 8:42am

I think I'll take your advice and find a place with dancing.  I did complain about Match's Stir event.  They said they're going to talk to their team, but who knows.  And I complained about their First Impressions add-on service.  They told me to try it again in 3 days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 10:43am

I haven't been a subscriber to match in several months, so I guess since that time they have started those new services.  I read about Stir in a magazine article about OLD, but i don't know what First Impressions is.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 12:35pm

Well the fact is, you just never know. Some people get really lucky right away doing OLD, others plug away at it for a long time and finally get results. Others plug away for a long time and get no result (results = a long-term relationship). If you're new to it, please don't take anything personally, and unfortunately, grow a thick skin. I would also recommend not soley relying on OLD and to get out to do things such as dancing which was suggested. As to bars, I think an upscale wine bar is a nice alternative and usually has some older folks in them. I used to go by myself to a nice wine bar in my neighborhood, but it really wasn't much fun. I felt somewhat self-concious, and ended up usually just talking to other women. I did meet a few men, but nothing ever came of it. 

I am 58, and up until last Novemeber, I had been doing OLD for four years. I did get dates, but none of them led to a relationship.

But you just never know. So much depends on where you live and who happens to be online at the time. It's easy to get discouraged at our age, so I would suggest not doing it for four years the way I did, although I took breaks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 4:15pm

Yes, the Stir happy hour, I think it's geared toward younger, and it's evident in their commercials and from the photos.  I do think it's discriminatory, to not have one specifically geared toward the older membership.  I do plan to write them a letter about it.  

The First Impressions is you would be one of the first round profiles sent to the newest members.  I did a general search  to see where I would come up at a 50 mile radius age 50-70.  I was 23 pages back out of 112 pages after being a member for two weeks .  I did ask them about that.  Their team is looking into it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 4:19pm
I think you're right, an upscale bar. I will try that. I do have to grow this thick skin. One thing I haven't done is email anybody. I can't bring myself to do it.
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 8:15pm

A lot will have to do with what social class you are comfortable with as much as the ages of the crowd.  Many older women and men find that in their area there are not much available.  Also while you are working that puts you into a different box than a person who is retired.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 11:08pm
That's something I didn't think about, social class, and I know exactly what you mean.
p.s. I like your battleship.
Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 10:59am

Yes I'm curious why you have a picture of the Bismarck?

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 1:36pm

It is a beautiful ship. 

dragowoman

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