Only one thing on his mind...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Only one thing on his mind...
9
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 7:39pm

Hello everyone...I have been reading through this board and occassionally posting, and something just happened to me about an hour and a half ago, and the first thing I thought of was this board when it did.
I met a guy on Yahoo Personals last week and we have exchanged a few emails. Both of us being busy, we decided to exchange phone numbers. Ok, no big deal. He called Friday evening just to chat, and leaving the conversation at: I will call you tomorrow and maybe we can get together for lunch. Well, he never called. No surprise to me, men seem to have a bad habit of not calling when they say their going to, from my experience. So this evening (Sunday) he called while I was driving. I answered, sounding tired because I had been driving for a long while. He asked if he had woke me, and mentioned I sounded tired. THEN...he proceeds to ask me if I need him to rub my shoulders. (Mind you, we've never met in person, not once). I politely said no and kind of laughed it off, and then he continued to say, "I'll rub your shoulders and kiss the back of your neck..." Now HOW inappropriate is that? I mean, sure, it's a great thought of having someone do that after you've dated them for a few months or whatever, but after 1 phone call, even mentioning that just tells me he has one and only ONE thing on his mind, and that's first and foremost SEX.
Soooo, I think that's one phone number I'll be deleting from my phone, and not accepting calls from. I mean, is it too much to want a guy to leave the sexual talk till we've had at least a few dates??? Does that even happen anymore?? Sometimes I wonder if I'm jumping the gun and kicking these guys to the curb too soon, but I'm not willing to put myself in the position of getting emotionally attached to a guy who only wants sex. He may just happen to be very patient for it even, and by then I'm in too deep. Does anyone hear me on this?

Thanks for listening,
M


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2005
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 9:16pm
Well, I think it's the combo of the comments, plus his lack of keeping his promise about calling you, that puts me in agreement, with your instinct, that he is one that should be kicked to the curb. Take a pass on this one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 9:47pm
I hear ya. You should next him asap. Kiss in the back of your neck before he even met you does not need any explanation! this guy is going for the kill right away.
If you are not into pre-relationship sex dont waste another minute on him.
I myself believe that if you can find an interesting FWB who is physically attractive and you know you can control your emotions with him go for it. It makes you stronger when you are in a real relationship. We, women tend to have higher expectations the minute we have sex with someone, it is our upbringing and society which tells us that by having sex we are giving (but ignores the receiving part) and so we become more fragile. If you get used to the idea of sex with no expectations, you will be able to still have sex with someone you like but be able to move on if he is not the right one for whatever reason and no matter how far into the relationship you start having sex.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 12:49pm

I don't know if you saw it, but we had a long thread going last week on the topic of making sexual comments before meeting.

You're not jumping the gun on nexting this guy *at all*, IMO.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2006
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 5:24pm
He sounds like a real pervert. Imagine what he'll be like in person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 5:29pm

OK, I'm sorry. But to me, his comment was inappropriate at this stage and definitely overeager but perverted??? That's a bit of a stretch. He said he'd like to kiss her neck.

IMO, this goes back to the individual opinion of how much each person can take. The first comment to me would have made a light go off in my head but I probably wouldn't have been offended by it. The second one took it too far but I would have called him on it, said it was inappropriate and seen what happened.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 7:56pm

I have to agree with you vex...in two aspects. I don't know that I felt it was perverted, but it was definately inappropriate! And I should have called him on it. I was caught off guard with it...I was driving, had my 9 year old daughter in the back seat, and he says this...It really kind of shocked me. But, no matter. I didn't call him back as I said I would and haven't heard from him since, and I'm fine with all of it!

M


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 9:02pm
EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 9:04pm
Hey, where is that link? lol

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 9:21pm
Me too! lol

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