Ooooh, BAD date! I was RIGHT! ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Ooooh, BAD date! I was RIGHT! ...
14
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:33am

I *still* have the willies! lol (eg: goosebumps!)


So, remember:

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:50am

Well, you kind of had an inkling of what you were in for, hopefully you were sort of prepared.

I'm curious about one thing though...if I know I'm not going to go out with the guy again, there's no way I'd even *think* about letting him pay for me (which to me is accepting a gesture of courtship and I want to make it 100% clear that I'm not interested in him courting me by paying my share). I would have had my money out as soon as the check hit the table to make it clear to him that I wasn't interested ;-). If he'd been willing, would you have let him pay, even though you knew you didn't want to see him again? No judgment, just curious how different people approach this.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 12:09pm

Oh yeah, I had an inkling. Thats for sure,lol.


About the paying thing. I dont look at it that way.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:51pm

Oh man, what a looooooser. And a thrift to boot. But hey, you took a chance and tried something new and that is commendable!

I wonder how many gals take him up on his boat offer? I'm guessing it's one of those inflatables.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 2:06pm
I so needed to read your post today. Forgive me, but I'm laughing at this idiot man. I can guarantee you that he treats all of his dates the same way and will be single forever! I don't know any woman desperate enough to want to spend much time with someone so self-absorbed and cheap. Makes you wonder if he actually owns that boat or just borrows it from someone in order to impress dates. One thing to think about, chances are good that your next date will HAVE to be better than how this guy turned out to be. Good riddance! :0
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 2:11pm
I would assume that the guy was going to pay for the meal if I were in that position, but I understand not wanting to feel "obligated" too. I just think it's extremely bad manners for the guy to act like he did. If he didn't have the cash to take her out, he should have opted for a cheaper restaurant. That alone would make me not want to go out with him again, even if I had interest to begin with. I had a cheap boyfriend for a long time. I swore I would never go that route again.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 2:16pm

Oh, I agree...him asking to split the bill would make me strongly consider not going out with him again, also, even if I were interested up to that point. But it sounded to me like the OP was clearly not interested even BEFORE that happened, so that's why I asked. I just wouldn't want there to be ANY thought on his part that I was interested, so I'd be falling over myself to pay my share ;-).

But I do understand that not everyone feels the same way about paying for yourself as a way of showing clearly that you're not interested.

Sheri

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 3:48pm

This is a good discussion on "who pays" for as the man who has been traditionally expected to pay, I am curious on this protocol for first dates, especially when I meet this woman from online.

Sheri already knows my view on this matter, i.e. (1) first online in person date is always coffee (2) coffee dates I pay usually (3) I do not like paying for someone I do not know. I don't mind paying for "friends" .. male or female for this seems backwards to me. I don't know this woman, she is a stranger so why should I treat her. I do know the woman (after we establish some sort of relationship) and therefore I don't mind paying for her (4) Despite what I think/my view is, I usually pay for the woman anyway since it is expected (5) I readily accept having the woman pay her share if she offers unless it is not really much (under $15) which I don't mind paying or she can leave the tip.

Part of my financial issue is that when I am looking to find "the one" and start having more than one woman to date (beyond the first coffee date), it becomes expensive to go out with all those women, doing all those things. I know that there are a lot of great inexpensive things to do but it does add up.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 4:31pm

I would have said when the bill came "thank you for inviting me out and thank you dinner, that was great" --- next time use that - what a classless man! Funny to read but sorry for you!!!

SP

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2006
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 6:00pm

>>I wonder how many gals take him up on his boat offer? I'm guessing it's one of those inflatables. <<

I'm guessing most of his dates are inflatables too! What a loser!

On the who pays issue - I think whoever did the inviting should pay. I've always felt a little weird letting someone pay for me so I would offer but it wouldn't be my way of showing a lack of interest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:25pm
Oh Rebecca! You poor thing! Reminds me of why I am soooo off dating right now! LOL

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