Ouch!....are these men kidding me?!?!?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
Ouch!....are these men kidding me?!?!?!?
20
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 8:51am

I was on this board a little over a week ago - "Why isn't anyone answering my e-mails?" or something like that. Since then I have taken the advice from Sheri and others posters. I changed my opening...played with the pictures a bit - personally....I really do just want to date right now....the boyfriend thing seems a bit far away.....I want to play the field...see what's out there....

So I have sent out 26 emails to my "matches" since April 11th. My responses? Four "Thanks, but I've met someone else and want to see what develops,"......a whole bunch of NOTHING (no responses) from others.....and two men actually said they weren't physically attracted to me. HELLO....do you see YOUR pictures?!?!?! I would have been a good catch for these two men! I may be full-figured, but I am good looking.....for the right occasion - I am HOT.....and these men...(ok...they are no winners...but I have totally only e-mailed men that are in my league...it's not like I'm making contact with Brad Pitt.....).....I needed to vent about this.

FYI lovesblueflowers on match.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 3:52pm
You're very welcome.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 7:29pm
Thanks, Stacey......you're right...you gotta be in it to win it.....it just annoyed me that those two guys thought that I wasn't good enough for them....augh!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 7:42pm
Only 2??? Honey, 438 men have looked at my picture and 430 have found me less than satisfactory.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 8:15pm

I think the line about "or you're spending way too much time composing 26 personalized emails instead of having a life"....is a little below the belt. We are on an OLD message board....we are on-line dating.....just my opinion.....little below the belt.

I am 32 years old. I know what I want. I am being pro-active. I am paying for the service of match.com....so I'm sending out e-mails. For e-mails that I do send out, I try to mention something in his profile that caught my eye - whether it was job related, family, location, etc. While I don't spend TOO much time, I do feel that a personalized e-mail is MUCH better than a form.

I do hear what some of the women - Stacey and Sheri - are saying about the winks. I do think I will take some time off from searching. But like I said, I am being pro-active....I've been long enough without dating...I'm ready....

Thanks for all of the feedback....enjoy your night!

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 9:03pm

Sorry, I meant that as a joke, not an insult. (I sometimes forget that not everyone gets my sarcastic sense of humor, especially in text.) I guess my point was, the more time & energy you invest, the more you *might* be setting yourself up for disappointment.

I also believe strongly that if what you're doing isn't working, try something else. When I started OLD I put a lot of emails out there and was pretty bummed with the rejections, so I took a break and started over with a new perspective. Hang in there, it does get easier.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 9:57pm
Thanks, mama :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 12:43pm

I agree with everyone. You are attractive and successful.

So, its probably about them. For example, I like girls that are
a little chubby, but I really like girls with dark brown hair.
I have never winked at a blond, although I have winked at
2 redheads.

It's just one of those things.

I'd say keep trying, and wait for the right guy to pop up and respond.

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 6:42pm
Over 1,000 men have seen my profile on Match since April 6, and 960 of them did not contact me ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 7:11pm
I totally agree with you, lbfchris! I think I've gotten better responses from personal emails.....it shows you are serious with your interest level, too. I do still do a lot of winking and only email guys I'm seriously likeing :). I heard someone say, "It's a numbers game" and if you think about it that way it helps a lot. Also, it only takes one good guy...that's all you need in the long run. *Only one* helps me to feel better about all the rejection as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 7:14pm

Hi iamdelightful,

Also take into consideration that each time a person does a search, you may be in that person's search AGAIN because you fit their criteria.

So say a person does a search 3 times a week for 4 weeks and your profile shows up in their searches each time, you have been viewed by that person alone 12 times - so that could be happening to you and the 1,000 men may not really be 1,000 that have not contacted you (actully 960 you stated).

It makes me feel better to look at it this way, yet I am not posted on any site right now...

Sunshine

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