Over-communication

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Over-communication
6
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 12:08pm

OK, there is a guy on Match that I haven't even met yet and I'm honestly not sure I want to at this point.

Here's the deal. Last week, I asked him to call me Saturday as that was the bext day due to having a lot of stuff going on. Well, first he sent a text on Tuesday. Then he called Friday afternoon - at 4:00... while I'm still at work. Then he DIDN'T call Saturday but then called Sunday (when I told him I'd be dead to the world after my half marathon), texted Monday and I called back Tuesday (my first opp) even though I was working until really late just so I could return the call and let him know I wasn't able to talk as work is really crazy this week. I told him talking over the weekend was my best bet. Since then, he texted Wednesday morning and then this morning! Good grief! Now I think I know how guys feel when women get all nutso and keep texting, texting, texting, calling, calling, calling... I responded to this morning's text (his was - Good morning! Have a great day!) with a "Thanks. You too.".

Now he wants to meet this weekend (asked via text of course - sigh...). I just don't really know what to do. The constant texting has been a big turnoff. Again, I made an error in judgement by responding to the text in a manner that I wasn't feeling. I just don't know.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 3:41pm

I would email him (not text him) and either ask him to call you during the day on Sat (or whenever is best for you) to talk about getting together if you still want to meet him. If not, then send him a thanks but no thanks email and then block him.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 4:03pm

Oh beleive me, I won't be texting. In general, I hate texting. He just keeps doing it almost daily and so I guess I felt some obligation to text back. AAACK! Text pressure! ;-) In any case, I don't know if I'm interested in meeting or not. There are a couple CL guys that seem interesting. One that I've been calling "hot guy" because in his picture he looks very attractive asked if I wanted to meet for coffee and a couple others have my number. Match/Crazy Text Guy was always at best a maybe and now with the daily messages, the maybe turns more toward no.

Ugh, why can't I be like a "normal" woman and love all this? Most women would kill for a guy that remains in constant contact even if it's before she met him! How many posts do we see out here, "Why won't he get in touch with meeeeee?!?!?!?" and here is this guy driving me batty with daily messaging.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 4:12pm

Eh, I wouldn't say that's necessarily "normal"--or if that's normal, then I'm not normal either, LOL. What he did would bug the heck out of me, too!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 10:40pm

You know I agree w/how you feel especially since it's obvious he wasn't listening to you when you told him to specifically call on a certain day and did not and knew you'd be doing a marathon and had a crazy work week ahead. Pay attention to this stuff NOW not later.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 10:42pm
But yes over communication says "I don't have a life therefore I'm going to annoy you"...turn off!!

"The Small Peanut"


How many pounds of peanuts are consumed in the United States each year?

2.4 billion pounds! About 50% is consumed as peanut butter.
Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 2:00pm

Excellent point. I hadn't thought too much on the not listening thing although it crossed my mind. It was like, ummmm, I asked you to call on Saturday! You knew I was running Sunday and was going to be tired and yet that's the day you decide to call? Hmm.

And texting (except in cases like you said), is most definitely NOT my preferred method of communication. I like it in cases where I don't want to call (e.g., they are in a meeting, it's late, in a place where I know they need to be quiet) but I don't make a habit of having regular conversations over text! Bad things can happen - a friend of mine was telling me today that she was texting back and forth with a guy and then went to send a text to a friend talking about how sweet and cute this guy was. Well, ooops! She sent it to the guy! Very embarrassing!

Anyway, yeah, I think I am just going to next him. I'll give the excuse that I don't have the time to be dating right now which in a way is true. I'll make time for dating for a guy that I want to date but if I'm not feeling it, I just don't want to make that time.

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