Overnight Update...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Overnight Update...
11
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 12:24pm

Thanks again for all your replies with my past postings. I have a little update.

This weekend I stayed over at his place. We went to bed together and he started to go for my chest. I stopped him and said that there's something about me that he needs to know. I said, "Long ago I decided to wait until I'm truly in love with someone to have sex. I've dated various people, but have never felt a connection that deep with them. I'm a virgin. It hasn't always been easy to stay that way, but I have no regrets. If this is a problem for you, please be honest." He said it's not. Then I said that I've been cheated on before because people said it wasn't an issue when it really was. And he said, "it's not a problem, here." Then I said, "You're sure?" and he said "I'm sure." Then I said, "I also never do anything that I don't want to, so, keep that in mind." He said, "I gotchya."

So I'm happy about that. :)

His parents and an aunt and uncle came over on Sunday to have a mini birthday celebration. They seem like good people. His new house is beautiful. He continues to be wonderful.

I hope all continues to go well.

Pink

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 2:25pm
I'm glad it's working out for you and that he didn't try to force the issue. Good luck with him, I hope it all works out as well!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 2:28pm

I think you should have told him you were a virgin before you laid down in his bed. I would be surprised if you continue to have a relationship with this man after this weekend. Not casting any negativity BUT you weren't honest when you needed to be. AND if you really talked the way you said you did I think that was a bit harsh.

I hope I am wrong and he is a man of dignity and respect.

Good Luck!!

Cindy

Avatar for k3of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 3:39pm
Sounds like things are progressing nicely for you two! I am sure it's difficult to disclose such personal information early in a relationship, but it sounds like your date handled it very well and has a lot of respect for you! Here's hoping that things continue to go so well! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 3:50pm

Thanks for your replies and support. :)

I wasn't harsh at all. You'd have to know me and the way I said it to know that. I can see how you'd interpret it that way, though!

I did ask if my sleeping in his bed would be a problem and he said no, and that he wanted me to stay. We had not even gotten under the covers yet.

I waited to tell him at what I thought would be the best time. I'd posted on here about that issue before. Some said to wait until we've been together for much longer, others said it's not an issue, some said to bring it up when it felt right. I'm proud of myself for bringing it up before things went farther.

I told him it's never easy for me to bring up that fact. He said he admires my honesty and respects me for who I am.

Thanks again for your replies!

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 3:51pm
I forgot to add that my "I don't do anything I don't want to" comment was clarified to him as, if things start getting hot and heavy later on, and I don't stop it, it's because I want it that way. (If something feels right, I won't put the brakes on.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 5:42pm

As an old pro at the

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 6:17pm

Your reply makes me feel good. Thank you! :)

I'm glad things have worked out for you and hope they continue to.

Yeah, the trust is the hard part. The over-analyzer in me is starting to voice up, saying that he probably didn't mean what he said. Who is has been up to this point goes against that. He is so calm, gentle and patient.

On Thursday I have my first gyno apointment and am going on birth control for reasons other than sex. Nontheless, it doesn't hurt to be prepared!

Thanks again. :)
Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 6:40pm

pinkdaisy: "On Thursday I have my first gyno apointment and am going on birth control for reasons other than sex. Nontheless, it doesn't hurt to be prepared!"

Pink, I'm back on birth control myself, just started my first pill last night. I'm preparing myself for a relationship as well. But, in your case, you're a virgin, so make absolutely sure this man is worthy. Watch for red flags and trust your gut! And it does sounds like you're taking your time and doing that. Good. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 9:27pm

I think you did fine, and it doesn't sound like you were harsh. I can see how it might come off that way, but I'm sure you didn't.

Now go forth and sin like crazy once you guys do start doing it.

No, seriously... it sounds good. Personally I have slept in a bed with a woman I wasn't going to have sex with, but man, it's tough to do. You might want to be kind to him and not tempt him TOO much like that... or yourself. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 9:53pm

Thanks for your support and kind words.

It means a lot to read comments such as yours... especially when it comes to this part of me and my life. My choice hasn't been easy but I know when the time comes it will be well worth the wait.

It's amazing to feel supported, even if not fully understood. :)

Sincerely, thank you!

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