Pale in comparison

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
Pale in comparison
2
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 1:02am

I've been having a blast online dating. For the first time in my life I'm not getting emotionally involved with anyone and I'm just having fun. That's a HUGE thing for me, since I tend to take myself way too seriously most of the time. There's been this one guy that I met online and who I've been seeing. The problem is that I'm not sure there's romantic chemistry there. He's very nervous around me and I think that hinders things. Also, he's not my type physically. I tried to get past it, because we connect in so many ways that matter. He makes me laugh and, more importantly, he makes me think. That is, when we are together, but over the phone the conversation is stiff and forced. It's wierd. Anyway, so I've been assuming that my reservations have to do with the fact that we met online. Because 1)I still feel wierd about online dating and 2)we are starting with having zero knowledge of each other, so it takes time to get acquainted.

But today something happened that completely skewed my perceptions. There is this guy in real life who I've known for about six months. We work together and out of nowhere something happened between us today. I can't really explain it, but one minute he's just Mike, and the next he's Mike, this totally gorgeous, sweet, funny, cute guy who's really into me. And suddenly I'm looking for reasons to go near him and he's giving me THAT look in the hallway and then he sort of asked me out and I sort of said yes. DOH! Okay, I'm probably not going to date him, since he's much younger than me and we work together. BTDT and the ex-boyfriend works in our department - we all work together! - so NOT a good idea, right? I don't want to be THAT girl in the office. :/

But Mike makes me feel all giddy. He gives me that tickly feeling you get when you are really into someone. None of the online guys make me feel that way, and it all seems pale in comparison now. So, how do you guys feel about OLD vs IRL and the feelings we have toward these guys? Is it natural to have stronger feelings for someone I've known for 6 months? Or is this an either-you-got-it-or-you-don't deal? I don't want to waste time with these online guys if it's never going to happen. But sometimes love (or attraction) comes softly, and sometimes it punches you in the gut and pulls you by the hair. I prefer the latter method, at least then I know there's something. How about you guys? I'm interested to get your opinions on this. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 1:51am

Well - yes, I think its a bit easier to have "those" feelings for this guy Mike b/c you know MUCH more about him .... therefore, much more to like.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 8:48am

You know, I think I'm the same way. I run out of things to say, too. I find myself looking around the room for ideas of what to talk about. And like you, it isn't just that way with guys I meet online (but perhaps more so, because there is that extra level of tension). Also, it seems everybody these days uses that Bluetooth ear piece and I HATE those things! It sounds like the other person is mumbling into a cloth and I hate having to say "what?" a million times. That is particularly annoying with a new person. If you can't take time out of your life to sit down and talk to me (and hold the phone to your ear like a normal person does), then don't bother :P

And Mike is really young. I'm not sure how young, but I'm guessing 21, based on some conversations I've overheard between he and his friends, who were all excited on Mike's b-day because "now we have someone to buy us beer! Dude!" {{{{groan}}}} Mike seems more mature than his buddies, though, and he sort of rolled his eyes at their misplaced enthusiasm. Still, he's 8 years younger than me. He was 10 and in 4th grade when I graduated from high school! I was having babies when he still hadn't finished going through puberty. Then again, Demi Moore and Ashton Kurcher comes to mind. He'd be nice for a fling, maybe, if I was able to do that sort of thing. I think we are going to lunch together today, so we'll see what happens!