The parade of cheap dates....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
The parade of cheap dates....
10
Sat, 10-08-2011 - 12:55pm

Question.

I don't like being 42!!! I just joined a dating site, Match with the urging of my friends. So I took the plunge.

I am divorced with no children, own a condo by the beach, the usual good catch stuff. People think I look younger but I am 42 and don't want to date younger men.

It's making me depressed to see the undesirable men that are contacting me. I don't want the man with 3 kids still under 18 years of age. Take care of your children then date. Don't contact women with no children then drone on about how your kids rock. It's not a good fit. I want my own family not rent-a-family.

My 32, hot friend gets flown to California. I am offered walks on the Boardwalk, ie they don't want to spend money. Sheesh. I also have a funny and positive profile.

I'm taking my dog with me on these walks and I will make as much of an effort in my appearance as they are with planning their dates. Dog is the escape hatch. I actually told them I appreciated the low maintenance date and won't have to worry about what to wear. I don't think they got the sarcasm. I am actually going to come with my own drink to underline how cheap they are.

They always want to go running with me. Do I have cheap date stamped on my forehead now that I am 42?. I get a 42 year old date.

I know I sound ungrateful and I know these men have been burnt by other women on dates, so I don't blame them. It's hard to cope with being the bottom of the dating pile.

So depressing has this experience been that I bought a ticket to the opera for myself for tomorrow. Luckily, I

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 10-08-2011 - 1:42pm

First of all, when you are talking about these walks on the boardwalk, is this the first meeting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Sat, 10-08-2011 - 4:16pm

With all due respect...if you come off on your dates like you are with this post you are going to have a hard time finding a nice man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Sat, 10-08-2011 - 4:26pm
Thank you for clarifying. I am used to expensive dinners as a first date because I used to meet people organically. Okay so it is customary for a walk date or coffee. I am good runner that's the problem. I am often faster than they are unless they are big into running.

When did things change? I certainly am not negative towards anyone's children. In fact, I feel guilty if the man spends and has kids. I don't need the guilt. I actually used to be an elementary school teacher. I like kids, but I don't want these single dads to know this.

I believe they should date women with children who can understand their situation.

I can do one kid, maybe, but when we go out they go on about what a great dad they are etc. etc.

I am going on a charity walk with one tomorrow morning. The following night man with 2 kids for a walk on the boardwalk. I certainly will be very fit from all of these dates!

Beach
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 10-08-2011 - 8:30pm

I'd say after the first coffee date/first meeting, then if you decide to have an actual date, usually the guy will pay.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 10-09-2011 - 2:08am

Yes coffee or a walk is a customary first date.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2011
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 3:02pm

I don't know...I think casual dates at the beginning are the best way to go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2010
Wed, 10-12-2011 - 9:08am
There is nothing worse than sitting for a dinner and a movie with someone you have never met, then find out within seconds of meeting you are clearly not attracted to him. Excruciating. So this is totally the norm to meet just for coffee on the first meeting, which I wouldn't even refer to as a date. Then, after that, you can ascertain if he the guy is a cheapskate. I met a guy once just for drinks, but we hit it off pretty quickly and the fireworks flew, so then we decided to lengthen our date and do dinner.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Wed, 10-12-2011 - 8:59pm

There are alot of cheap guys out there, that is for sure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2010
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 3:57pm

I am 38 and tend to go for younger guys too, I have a date lined up with a 34 year old this weekend. I have dated cheap guys too, and it's such a turn off, and you are so right, many of them make big bucks! I dated a guy for a little less than a year and most of the time I paid or paid for weekend trips! But I had not hesitation to pay for someone I loved, but these guys are

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Fri, 10-14-2011 - 7:01pm

i dated a woman 12 years my senior for 1-1/2 years.