Is this petty?
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| Mon, 03-14-2005 - 7:47am |
So I'm talking on the phone with this dude, and all is swell. Then, once I appeared a little interested, the "balance of power" clearly shifted (this seems to happen a lot with me - like I'm a challenge, and once the guys think I like them, they go cool or ghost). So anyway, now I can tell right off when the shift occurs and I try to shift it back (and hopefully won't let that armour down much in the future to even remotely appear interested, but anyway...) So here's the thing that is bugging me. This guy then all of a sudden changes to become this incredibly sure-of-himself idiot, and says to me "you can call me".
Okay, that pissed me off. Am I being petty? I guess I'm very old fashioned and I like being called and pursued, at least in the beginning.
What would ya do?
JAYME

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I have no idea what you mean by shifting balance of power back and forth.
What was said between you?
I don't know, it was just a term I made up. I just mean that at first the guy's are all INTO me, and I usually have my armor up. But then once I start to let it down even a smidgeon, they become NOT into me.
I guess all that was said was "you can call me" at the end of the conversation, rather than "can I call you again?" or something more along those lines, and it's bugging me.
Probably not a "nextable" thing, but just bugging me.
What was said before the you-can-call-me sign off? I would look that over and see if I could have handled it differently.
I think I understand what you were saying by not letting your guard down. However this can possibly backfire and sound like disinterest on your part. Not good for the male ego, eh? Or a female's either.
Because I deal with a lot people over the phone at work, some of whom can be emotional, I keep my voice modulated so that no misunderstandings can take place. Otherwise, a conversation would end up being a series of reactions and re-reactions and go nowhere.
amjay
Why do you do so much reading between the lines? You're setting yourself up for failure since most of it is negative - at least in your mind.
Lisa
I agree with her. I would be put off by that too. Here is what I would have said....
"I would love to talk to you. However, I am an old fashioned type of gal, and I firmly beleive that it is the guy that should call."
If he is into you, he will take that and go with it. If he argues...he is not into you, at which time...he is simply put...NEXT!
Jodie
http://tickers.ticke
You didn’t make up “shift of power” it happens in almost every relationship. For example “guy pursues gal” ... gal is romantically cautious ... guy keeps trying ... girl gives in then the honey moon stage is gone....guy has power, girl is really into the guy and then eventually you come back to the middle! There will be times you feel he’s way more into you (like slow down) then you are ready for him. Then when you’re really into him he doesn’t seem as into you .... who knows....just a theory I’ve noticed in my 35 years of dating! Ha. Just to let you know I get what you’re saying. However if it’s happening on a first phone call – I might take a pass.
How can it possibly happen in the first phone call? What "power" is there? I doubt you've been dating for 35 years, SP. You are 35. Unless you're older than you've said previously.
Lisa
SP
If you read the entire post I said but it shouldn't be happening on a first phone call.
Actually, I started dating the moment I popped out; weird huh? Just kidding. OK, I've been dating for 19 years -- it was a figure of speech my darling, but good observation nonethless!
Cheers,
SP
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