phoenixmama, me too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
phoenixmama, me too!
7
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 10:15am

The guy I've been seeing for six months just told me he wants to take a break. He even gave a time frame: until after Thanksgiving, at least. I thought things were fine, he gave me a great birthday gift a couple weeks ago ($100 gift certificate to a day spa) but I know he's very much a loner (at least he didn't tell him he "needed space", lol). I'm a loner too; it's one reason I thought we were a great pair; we both "get" the need for alone time. He says he needs to spend more time by himself. Hmmm...wonder if I'll see his profile on match shortly (note to self: stop being so cynical :)

We're both in our 40s and this is a very difficult age to date, I think. I've gotten used to the idea of dealing with baggage (ex-wives and kids) but I'm also starting to think a lot of single people over 40 are a little broken as well, maybe just from years of dating and plain ole living.

Oh, well. I'm bummed, but I know I'll survive. I'm not quite ready to reactivate my match profile (I did a search and couldn't believe all the familiar faces. As Yogi Berra would say, it's like deja vu all over again.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 10:22am
Until after Thanksgiving?

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 10:46am

Carrie, I'm sorry to hear that. Did you agree to the break? Why or why not? I wouldn't be comfortable with that, personally...if there are issues, you work through them together, IMO, you don't "take a break".

I think your theory about people in our age group has a lot of truth to it, although I see a lot more "broken" men than women...IMO it's because women are (as a general rule) more comfortable with seeking therapy and "fixing" things than men are.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2004
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 12:15pm

Oh, Carol, I'm sorry to hear that. What's going on with all the break-ups around here? I know you won't wait around for him, but what are you going to do if he comes back around in a few weeks? Take some time for yourself, and treat yourself to that wonderful day at the spa (with no thoughts of him :)) Good luck!

Holly

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 1:25pm

Thanks for the nice replies. To answer Sheri's question, I'm not as broken up about this as I would've expected. Admittedly I'm still processing this (it just happened yesterday) but I'm a lot less upset than I was last year at this time when that dude ghosted on me after a month of dating.

I'm not sure if I would get back together with him, assuming he comes back. I think I need a break as well. Not just from him, but from dating in general.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 6:07pm
Yes, I'm encountering many broken men....it's very sad. They just sort of give up....giving a half attempt at finding a partner
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 8:15am

Hi Carol-


Very sorry to hear this.

CL-Truewild1969

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Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 2:10pm

>>I'm not as broken up about this as I would've expected.


Me neither.