Phone calls but no second date

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Phone calls but no second date
6
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 6:22pm

This guy I went out with for a first meet -two weeks ago- has called me twice since then, but not to set up a second date, he's called to say "hi". Well, his third phone call was last Saturday to ask if I'd like to go out that same night. He said he was off by 8 PM. I already had plans so he left it as "I'll call mid week or so". I really like this guy, but I guess I'm showing it too much. I feel that he's keeping me "there" just in case he's dateless. I won't go out with someone who asks the same day and tell me he's off work by 8 PM that same night. Anyhow, I went on and sent a brief message to him this evening. I have some other prospects to talk on the phone and possibly meet though.

Any thoughts? Should I close this chapter and move on once and for all?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 6:25pm
I wouldn't go out with a guy who called me and asked me out for the same day, unless we've been seeing each other for a while. I think you did the right thing and would just move on. If he really wants to see you, he'll make time and it will be on your schedule, not just his.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 11:47pm

Hi CC,

True that, it sounds like he is putting you 'on the shelf'. If he likes you, and he sees that he can not get you on a last minute basis, then he will come around and call you earlier. If not...Ding..next!

It seems to me that you are feeling a little less than properly respected, and I do not blame you, most would feel the same! It is Wayyyyy too early for him to be this cavalier about going out with you. "Oh, by the way...", does not work in the first month of dating, maybe two months!?

If you like him, do nothing, it is up to him to respond to you now. If you do not like him that much, or find someone in the new catch that acts more gentlemanly, then do not respond to his calls or emails, or answer and say you "have plans"..one or two of those should do the trick.

No need to be rude, he was just not wired to fit onto your Planet.

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 12:24am

ok if hes not acting the way you'd like right now, yes time to let go and move on. But honestly, it sounds to me like he is a very spontaneous person by nature. Not the type to hold u there in case plans dont pan out. like you are last resort type deal. that is in your head because so many guys do this. I hate it too. And I really dislike the non planners...

but you ve gotta face it, most men dont plan well ahead of time. Some are trained in that area but most are not. So maybe hint that you d like him to ask at least a day or two before. You could try saying next time, im busy tonight but how about X day (2-3 days after that day) - that'll give me time to work it into my schedule. That way he knows you have a full schedule and will plan accordingly.

Seriously, it sounds like you two hit it off (hes called to talk to you = hes interested in you), so go with it. And try to nudge him to make plans. If it doesnt work, then I'd give up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 1:12pm

I have to disagree with Surfer. It sounds to me like he is dating a few girls...which is fine. But that is why he hasn't set up another date. She came up at the last minute because his first interest was not available. I could be wrong...but I rarely am in these type of situations.

Jodie

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 3:20pm
This guy is out the door, he e-mailed me to let me know that "I'd like to go out on Sunday evening to see "x" movie". what about what I'd like to do? Anyhow, I sent a message letting him know that I'm not available anymore. Thanks for the input guys!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 5:44pm
hey there ccruise. Im sorry that happened. I completely agree, he should've asked YOU what you'd like to see. good call on letting the dude go.