Phone "Meets"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Phone "Meets"
6
Tue, 06-02-2009 - 12:19pm
I have a question.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Tue, 06-02-2009 - 5:49pm

I am a bad phone person, so I NEVER click with anyone on the phone. In fact, I prefer to go straight from email to a short first meet. With my current boyfriend, I only talked to him on the phone as long as I did (a month) because he lives 200 miles away and we couldn't meet for that long.

That being said, I really don't think a bad phone call or two has much bearing on how things will go in real life. I definitely think it's worth a quick meet even if the phone call didn't go well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Tue, 06-02-2009 - 7:58pm

There's no rules, so I go by my gut, at least mostly.
(Sorry about the "cl" tag, I signed in and out twice--and I'm just letting it go this time--I apologize)

I've refused to meet someone because I couldn't talk to him on the phone. Vagueness works there.

I've had great talk, no click on the meet.

I've had GREAT emails, no click.

I've had lousy emails, nothing much said and a good to great meet.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, who knows? No one. Maybe just be open.

Personally, I can't do *deadhead* phone talk. And I prefer to let the man call me, then I feel less responsible to start the conversation. I usually don't have a problem, though. Talking, I mean.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Tue, 06-02-2009 - 9:17pm

Personally, I hate the "phone meet". Though I had one the other night for an hour and got a date tomorrow out of it. However, he called ME.

Last week I had to do the call and oy, was the guy a bore.

Twice this week I had guys request in multiple emails that they would love to chat in person. So I give my number and never hear from them again. What's up with that?

I notice more and more lately that the more the guy claims to be funny in his profile, have a great sense of humor, will make me laugh...it seldom happens. So then they're on the phone, I make some silly remark and it's greeted with...dead silence.

The guy I am seeing tomorrow had a nice profile, nothing extraordinary, but had some interesting hobbies. However, he had a good deadpan sense of humor.

Then, my favorite is the "fake date" request. That is, they end the call with, "Do you wanna go out some time? I am pretty booked this week, so I'll call you later in the week..." Poof, never to be heard from again. I can see right through that one!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Wed, 06-03-2009 - 5:08am

I *hate* to talk on the phone prior to meeting. I prefer a few emails, then a meet within a week or so. I cannot just make small talk on the phoen to someone I dont know. SO uncomfortable.


That being said, the guy I've been dating 3 months now, is a HUGE phone person. We had some really great emails (his sense of humor is SO great, & very dry, like mine) back & forth, then after we met, they stopped. Completely, lol. Now he calls me 2X a day, & as much as I am TOTALLY into him, I STILL dont want to talk to him 2 X a day! lol

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 06-03-2009 - 8:41pm

Funny, I am the same way. I'm dating a guy for about three months now and he is more of a phone person than I am. As much as I am into him, I HATE talking to him on the phone, unless I know it's going to be a quick phone call.

Do you ever find that the guy you're dating is "different" on the phone as opposed to in person? It's hard to explain...it's just that talking to my guy in person is the BEST, but then on the phone he acts like a different person at times, it's really weird.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2009
Tue, 06-09-2009 - 11:25am

In my honest opinion... if you're already feeling like you are "walking on egg shells" so early on in your "relationship", then you need to trust your instincts and not contact them again - block their profile!


When you say there is a "disconnect" when talking to new men on the phone, are you just saying that there is lack of conversation? If that's the case... have you thought about writing a list of things you want to ask him or talk to him about before the call occurs?