Photo Misrepresentation
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Photo Misrepresentation
| Sat, 12-03-2005 - 12:13pm |
I'm sure most of you have met men or women out that didn't look like their picture on line. This happened to a friend recently only as the night went on she became more engaged with their conversation so she will go out with him again.
My question is, is this deception? Is this them putting their best foot forward, only trying to get that first date? I mean, if you met a guy out that had a full head of hair in his picture and in real life didn't have much of it, would you confront the guy? make the most of the date? Or what if you met a guy that was 50 lbs heavier, again would you make the most of it? --- they say what matters most is the connection so....
What have your experiences been - thought this might make a good post.
Thx,
SP

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I expect that even people who are using their most recent pictures are going to look for the best one to post on the web. That's just natural human behavior. I mean you tend to put your best foot forward in other regards when you first begin dating somebody new. You talk about your more interesting hobbies and interests on the first date, not about how you like to pig out in front of the t.v. with a big bag of potato chips on the week-ends. I don't see how trying to find a good photograph of yourself to post on the web is any different.
As far as putting up an old photograph of yourself, I think that really depends on just how old the photo is. I mean if you're fifty and putting a picture of when you were twenty, then that's clearly being decepitive, but if it's just a picture from a year or two ago then I don't think that's much of a problem. It's just a matter of where you draw the line between putting your best foot (or face as the case may be) forward and completely misrepresenting yourself. I don't know if there's one clear line where the distinction can be drawn. I would also add that if it's not even a photograph of you, but a photo of somebody else, then that's definitely deception.
I'm fine with people putting their best foot forward in their photos (I do the same--I'm wearing black in my full length shot, for instance ;-)), and I don't expect people to look exactly like their photos.
But I draw the line at significant differences...I do think that is deceptive. I met one guy earlier this year who had a photo showing him as somewhat overweight, which is fine with me...I like a guy with some meat on his bones ;-). But in person, this guy was huge...as in, he couldn't even fit into the chairs at Starbucks and had trouble walking huge. That is deceptive, IMO. I felt bad for him but also somewhat angry at being deceived.
Sheri
I agree that major differences in the photo and the real thing are deceptive. But maybe if you know a photo of how you look now wouldn't even get you a first date it's worth the risk? I mean it worked with your friend. If she knew what he looked like, she may not have gone out with him, but now she has found out that she likes him. Yes you probably risk that you will go on one date and it will go nowhere once they see you, but that's more than you would have gotten posting your "real" picture, and now you have a chance to show your personality. I don't know, I don't think I would like to be put on the spot like that, but I can see where they are coming from.
I don't know, I think in general, people look a lot different in person than they do in photos. I could probably post 2 pictures of me that would look like 2 different people, then you would meet me and not recognize me.
I am significantly overweight, When I posted my profile, I took my picture that same day. But somehow I turned out looking semi-skinny in the picture. It was a full body shot too. I showed it to my sister and she was like "You're skinny!!!" LOL. So should I not use that picture? I mean it was how I looked that day, but the angle or clothing or something made me look probably 50 pounds lighter than I am, a big difference. Is that being deceptive?
I think in those cases, you should post multiple ones. If you can say it makes you look 50lbs less than what you really are, then I would say you may be setting a different expecation for the guys that take an interest in you. Hope that makes sense!
I think it's deceptive, and I, too, think there's a difference between putting your best foot forward and posting a pic that's old and outdated.
I think it's wrong to knowingly deceive a person about your appearance by posting an out of date photo or a photo that isn't representative of what you look like now. I also think that it's telling of the person posting such a misrepresentation of themselves as well. To me it speaks volumes about how happy the person is with themselves in the here and now. Maybe that's just me, but if a person can't post
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