Photo paranoia

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Photo paranoia
10
Sat, 03-26-2005 - 10:10pm

Has anyone ever told you that you don't look like your pictures?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sat, 03-26-2005 - 10:15pm

Find the ugliest picture you can find and post it. Then you'll be sure to be loved for just yourself.

That's what I did, and look at me now!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 7:20am
I have met several people with the pics that i have posted... they are all recent pics and i felt they were fair representations of myself.... however this past first meet I had with someone this past week practically said otherwise.... he said he (kindly of course) didnt realize that i had dark hair (all my photos have dark brown hair) and he said he thought my pics were blurry... I dont know what is wrong with his computer.... but then the irony of it all was that he had about 10 pics posted of himself totally prepped out but then in the email he sent right before we met , he said he had long hair, a beard, and wire rim glasses... i thought he waas kidding! he really had a beard and long hair--- how deceiving is that !!! needless to say no chemistry on both sides!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 7:37am
I always suspected I was unphotogenic but OLD has confirmed it. Just about every guy I've met has told me my pix don't do me justice. And the sad thing is it took me forever to find a few pix I didn't totally hate!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 7:41am

I had an experience similar to yours. An onliner with one picture which was not well lit - and she wasn't close to the height she mentioned. Then she proceeded to ask me why I lied about my height and didn't look like my photo (I have 10 online).

There are just some people you are going to meet that are not playing with a full deck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 8:04am

Sparkle -

I agonized over this as well. I ventured into OLD after an on-again/off-again two year relationship where I never felt thin enough, pretty enough, feminine enough, etc. (we'd met IRL so he knew all along what I looked like!) so I totally erred on the side of having a good range of pics like lg says, standing, sitting, inside, outside, etc. so there were no surprises on meeting.

As a newbie, of course I got tons of repsonses and was terrified that it was because my pictures were too good. (Now I know better...) Then I got some input from my girlfriends and even confided in my big brother (he's 2 years my senior at 44 years old) -- after years of him calling me a big fat pig and elephant butt when I would get him in trouble, he conceded that the pics were accurate and that I looked "pretty damn good." As it turns out, everyone I have met (probably about 10-12 people) has said that I look just like my pictures.

The first couple of times you meet someone new, you DO wonder if they think the pics are representative, but after you do it for a while, you won't worry anymore -- you just stop caring so much what they think, and start caring about what you want.

I suggest, like you said, having your brother look at the pics, if it will help -- but really my suggestion to you is that you just dive in and get it over with. It gets easier...

Or just post a pic of Calvin!! :- )

Tracy

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 10:46am

I get the same comments all the time. To me, personally, that's a silly thing to say because I think *everybody* looks better in person than than in their photos! Photos don't have the spark of life that people have in person that makes them, them, ya know?

The only times this hasn't been true in my experience (that people didn't look better in person) was when the photos misrepresented how they look now (e.g., weight gain or loss, hair loss, beard vs. no beard, glasses vs. no glasses).

Sheri

Avatar for cyclegirl36
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 11:28am

This is similiar to the issue I raised last week regarding sending and receiving photos. I got to the point where I would not send my photo or request one until I had made a decision to meet the person because I felt I was getting responses based on what I looked like.

I went to Match.com and Eharmony, out of curiosity,and browsed through some of the posters on there. Things have changed since the 6 or so years on was visiting those dating sites. Everyone posts a pic. Its easier to do so because of digital cameras. Alot of the pics were blurry. I found myself paying more attention to the narrative profile, the way it was written, the content.

I wonder if seeing a pic, any pic, is more of a psychological thing-seeing a pic with a profile to ease one's mind??

One poster on this thread put it very nicely:
"you just stop caring so much what they think, and start caring about what you want"

Cyclegirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 6:28pm

This has always been an issue for me as well.

I pretty much hate every picture I take, so it was hard for me to take some that I actually liked. I do agree that most people do look better IRL. I think lg always has good advice on this one: take lots of pics, and have a close up, a full body, and a candid, at least. The person will have a pretty good idea of what you look like if you do that.

Eric

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 8:43pm
I solved my issues tonight!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 9:01pm

>>Find the ugliest picture you can find and post it. Then you'll be sure to be loved for just yourself.

That's what I did, and look at me now!<<

LOL!!!! I thought of posting a picture of me at my fattest on one of those large women's sites. I'm still not small but no longer "large". I decided against it because I thought it would be cruel - not to me I can take it - but to some guy who might (goodness knows why) actually like that picture.