Photo paranoia
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Photo paranoia
| Sat, 03-26-2005 - 10:10pm |
Has anyone ever told you that you don't look like your pictures?
| Sat, 03-26-2005 - 10:10pm |
Has anyone ever told you that you don't look like your pictures?
Find the ugliest picture you can find and post it. Then you'll be sure to be loved for just yourself.
That's what I did, and look at me now!
I had an experience similar to yours. An onliner with one picture which was not well lit - and she wasn't close to the height she mentioned. Then she proceeded to ask me why I lied about my height and didn't look like my photo (I have 10 online).
There are just some people you are going to meet that are not playing with a full deck.
Sparkle -
I agonized over this as well. I ventured into OLD after an on-again/off-again two year relationship where I never felt thin enough, pretty enough, feminine enough, etc. (we'd met IRL so he knew all along what I looked like!) so I totally erred on the side of having a good range of pics like lg says, standing, sitting, inside, outside, etc. so there were no surprises on meeting.
As a newbie, of course I got tons of repsonses and was terrified that it was because my pictures were too good. (Now I know better...) Then I got some input from my girlfriends and even confided in my big brother (he's 2 years my senior at 44 years old) -- after years of him calling me a big fat pig and elephant butt when I would get him in trouble, he conceded that the pics were accurate and that I looked "pretty damn good." As it turns out, everyone I have met (probably about 10-12 people) has said that I look just like my pictures.
The first couple of times you meet someone new, you DO wonder if they think the pics are representative, but after you do it for a while, you won't worry anymore -- you just stop caring so much what they think, and start caring about what you want.
I suggest, like you said, having your brother look at the pics, if it will help -- but really my suggestion to you is that you just dive in and get it over with. It gets easier...
Or just post a pic of Calvin!! :- )
Tracy
I get the same comments all the time. To me, personally, that's a silly thing to say because I think *everybody* looks better in person than than in their photos! Photos don't have the spark of life that people have in person that makes them, them, ya know?
The only times this hasn't been true in my experience (that people didn't look better in person) was when the photos misrepresented how they look now (e.g., weight gain or loss, hair loss, beard vs. no beard, glasses vs. no glasses).
Sheri
This is similiar to the issue I raised last week regarding sending and receiving photos. I got to the point where I would not send my photo or request one until I had made a decision to meet the person because I felt I was getting responses based on what I looked like.
I went to Match.com and Eharmony, out of curiosity,and browsed through some of the posters on there. Things have changed since the 6 or so years on was visiting those dating sites. Everyone posts a pic. Its easier to do so because of digital cameras. Alot of the pics were blurry. I found myself paying more attention to the narrative profile, the way it was written, the content.
I wonder if seeing a pic, any pic, is more of a psychological thing-seeing a pic with a profile to ease one's mind??
One poster on this thread put it very nicely:
"you just stop caring so much what they think, and start caring about what you want"
This has always been an issue for me as well.
I pretty much hate every picture I take, so it was hard for me to take some that I actually liked. I do agree that most people do look better IRL. I think lg always has good advice on this one: take lots of pics, and have a close up, a full body, and a candid, at least. The person will have a pretty good idea of what you look like if you do that.
Eric
>>Find the ugliest picture you can find and post it. Then you'll be sure to be loved for just yourself.
That's what I did, and look at me now!<<
LOL!!!! I thought of posting a picture of me at my fattest on one of those large women's sites. I'm still not small but no longer "large". I decided against it because I thought it would be cruel - not to me I can take it - but to some guy who might (goodness knows why) actually like that picture.