Photos vs. Real life

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Photos vs. Real life
11
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 9:53pm

I was wondering how many of you have been disappointed when meeting a person for the first time.

Have you been mostly happy with the way they represented themself? or could you have walked right past them without recognizing them from their photo?

Several months back when I was more active on Match, I saved a few profiles of interest. When I went to peruse those profiles again recently, I noticed they had added what appeared to be more current photographs of themselves in their photo gallery section.

One of the guys looked much different than the ones he'd originally posted. I'd say he looked about 10 years older, which likely meant he had been using photos from when he was in his 20s.

Do they really think we won't notice these things in person?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 6:06am

I don't think I've ever been disappointed. I typically won't correspond with someone who doesn't have a clear picture. I usually assume that they will look a bit worse than the photo - though they usually don't. I had one person who I met that I could not tell if it was her in the photo and spent most of the night staring to try to figure it out. She matched the height/weight - just the look was completely different. In general I only ask that the picture be of them - so long as they are reasonably close I haven't found that it has been a problem. I will avoid any profile with a glamour shot or long distance/sunglasses picture.


In my own profile I really strive to have current and realistic photos because I feel it is a huge waste of time to present yourself as someone else and expect you'll show up at a coffee meet with a brilliant personality that just overcomes the deceptive photo...


Actually in almost every meet the people have looked better than their photo.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 9:15am

Most of mine have looked at least reasonably close to their pictures. But the ones I really remember are two guys who, based on their photos, I couldn't have picked out of a lineup. I don't get why people do that. I guess, as LG said, they're hoping their sparkling personality will make you forget about the deceptive photo.

I would never do that because one of the worst feelings is meeting someone for the first time and seeing that look on their face that says you're not who they were hoping to meet. Anyone who has done the newspaper personals in the Dark Ages, before digital cameras, knows what I'm talking about. Now those were truly blind dates.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 9:32am
I've been disappointed nearly 100% of the time. Only once did the guy look better in real life than in his photo. Every other guy posted a photo that must have been taken years earlier or was the one and only really flattering photo out of a collection of about 100. Not that all the men were UNattractive - it's just that they didn't look as good in real life as what I was expecting (based on the photo(s)I had seen).
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 10:05am

I've had exactly the same experience as this. In only one case has the guy actually looked BETTER than his picture and in almost all other cases, I have been disappointed.

One that stands out is the guy that looked like Tim Russert. In his picture, he seemed very athletically built and quite attractive. When I met him, the picture was obviously about 10 years and 20 pounds ago because he looked NOTHING like the picture. It was good he recognized me because there would have been no way on earth I ever would have recognized him. We didn't go out again but I recently saw his profile on Yahoo again. He still had those same pictures, but he'd added a couple new ones... of him from a very great distance sitting on some steps and another of someone (you couldn't really tell if it was him because they had goggles and a snow suit on) ice climbing. So still really bad and no way to tell what he really looks like. I feel like putting him on that website that you can warn other people about someone. He wasn't a bad person (pretty boring), but I feel he misrepresented himself.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2005
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 10:34am
I just had this very thing happen this week. I'm thinking this guy looks one way and when I see him, he is NOTHING like the picture. I guess they are hoping that we will be so happy to meet them we won't notice??? Even if I really liked the person from his personality I would be upset that they didn't represent themselves truthfully to me. Major turnoff!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 1:41pm
With most of the men I have met, they have looked BETTER than their photos or just like them. Even the few that didn't look as good in their photo, didn't look as good in RL. (smile)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 3:26pm

I met a guy just this past Sunday that looked a lot better in his pictures than in person, I'm not sure if they were the most recent pictures of him but he looked a lot cuter in them than he did in person. We had a fun date but I definitely wasn't that attracted to him, I haven't heard from him either so I may have given off that vibe unintentionally or perhaps he wasn't interested as well.

My other previous Match meets have looked better in person than in pictures, this guy was one of only two (out of about 12 or so that I've met) where I was dissapointed when I met them in person so I say I'm usually pleased physically speaking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 3:44pm

My expereince has been the guys with really blurry pics seem like they have some self esteem issues going on as I also get this from what their profiles say (yet I am aware that they could just have bad pics also), and guys who don't smile and show their teeth usually have bad teeth (yes I have a personal preference of nice teeth). With both of these cases, I no longer meet guys in these categories. I also rule out those with 69 in their profile names and those that repeatedly say that they want a woman in good shape. I am in good shape but these guys are way too into looks and want the arm candy mainly - not my type!

When it looks like there is a big discrepancy in their pics in years (like 10 usually!) I ask how recent their pics are. But it is so unfair for people to misrepresent themselves like that because we DO know the difference when we meet them and we ARE usually disappointed. To me it's kind of like the bait-n-switch method!

I would say though, of the majority of guys I've had first meets with, most were a close resemblance to their pics and some even looked better, in fact, my last guy was much better looking and acted interested but unfortunately nothing panned out as he was all talk, so next!

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 11:55pm

I've been lurking around the board for awhile and couldn't help but to jump in on this thread.
Of the 3 actual first meets that I had through the Match site this past Spring, I would have to say that only one of the 3 gents actually resembled his pics. As for the other 2, well lets just say that they must have used pics from several/many years ago. I would also add that one of these guys grossly misrepresented his height and his level of fitness etc.
Does a moderate size beer belly normally appear on an athletically fit guy (?) LOL

I did learn something from those experiences though> filter !, filter!, filter! and don't jump straight into meeting until you know a little more about the person and that its totally acceptable to request to see more pics if in doubt. Men do it to us all the time...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Sat, 06-18-2005 - 2:19am

Hi LM,

You had me cracking up with your comment, "...Does a moderate size beer belly normally appear on an athletically fit guy (?) LOL..." I do believe that many of those men assume that since they *watch* sports that that qualifies them for the *Athletic* body description on their profile! Something is really wrong there! Maybe lifting a few beer cans during a game is considered being athletic?!!! LOL

Exactly on the pics, if he has no pics posted, even one, and doesn't send one to me when I ask, then I don't meet him. No pic, no meet. It's pretty simple really.

Also, the guys who keep requesting more and more pics, I drop them also as they are usually really superficial and just into how you look. I did that with one really cute guy who wanted more and more pics and he just couldn't understand why I decided not to meet him - it was funny! I tried to explain but his brain just couldn't comprehend it! I no longer try to explain! Just - next!

Sunshine

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