Picture vs. Reality
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Picture vs. Reality
| Sun, 06-18-2006 - 8:27pm |
I just met someone from Match who doesn't look like his picture. The picture must be old and about 20 pounds ago. He also claimed to be "toned and athletic." NO WAY. I am getting frustrated with all this. Aren't there any honest people any more?????

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The last guy I dated for almost 4 months told me, in the beginning, that his previous dates via online were disappointments partly because they "lied" about their weight. He admitted to me that he was overweight, but he put "extra pounds" on his profile, so he thought that other women should do the same if they were overweight. He said it wasn't so much the fact that they were overweight that bothered him (since he was also overweight), it was the fact that they misrepresented themselves as "average" when they were not.
I told him that there was another way to look at it though. I look around me and see very overweight women (of all ages) on almost a daily basis. More times than not, these same women probably have friends who are about the same size they are or larger. I've seen groups of women shopping at W-Mart and they are ALL heavy. Not talking just 10-20 pounds overweight either. These are women who would probably wear the top end in the plus sizes. But if these women hang out with mostly larger women, then they probably "believe" they are average in size. When I mentioned that to him, he had not thought of that as a possibility. So, in their own minds, chances are good that they are not lying about how they look if they do not see themselves as overweight or gray or with some other drawback to their physical appearance.
One thing that I learned with this last relationship, is that the physical body is only part of what attraction is about. Mark was probably at least 50-80 pounds overweight and I must admit to not having much attraction for really overweight guys in the past. However, I got past just seeing his physical appearance and grew to really care about him as a person. I was attracted to him and loved being held and kissed by him. By contrast, he thought "I" was thin because I was not overweight (compared to some of his previous dates). In reality, I would like to lose 10-20 pounds, but I am not going to obsess over it. I consider myself average and will continue to use that word as a body type description because it seems to be the most truthful from my perspective. But perception is subjective and not everyone sees someone the same as someone else might.
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