A picture is worth 1000 words

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
A picture is worth 1000 words
9
Sun, 09-08-2013 - 6:49pm

I was talking to my friend the other night about OLD.  Now this is kind of obvious, but funny.  She's really beautiful, like men will fall off their bar stools looking at her when she walks by.  But she's a high school math teacher.  She said she didn't really want to put her photo on an OLD site cause she didn't want her students or their parents to see it.  So when she put no photo, she said she didn't get any emails--I guess "teacher" has the connotation of matronly, hair in a bun. As soon as she put her photo, she got tons of emails.  But she still didn't find anyone she liked.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 1:12pm

I feel the same way about if I see someone who doesn't have a pic...I will not even bother for the most part even reading their profile.I admit that at times I have read their profiles if it's really interesting BUT I feel that nowadays people need to have a pic in their profile.I do understand that some people are in high positions or other type of jobs that they don't want  everyone to know...then I would suggest to people like that to NOT do OLD because everyone expects a photo of the person they're looking at.I also hate to ask a guy for a pic because if I do ask for one and then he sends one...if I;m not attracted to him...then I don't want to respond back anymore...mean but it's the truth...Although I am online looking for someone...in the end...just being out in a social setting with friends is the best way to go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 09-18-2013 - 1:45pm

In the past when I did OLD, I found that a non closed-up photo of myself doing something listed on the profile is very useful.  For example, I am an avid skier so I posted a photo me at the slope.  It is difficult to be identified as half my face was covered with ski goggles, but it still servced the purpose of: 1. Showing that I am not a 300-lb couch potato and 2. I actually participate in the activities I claim to be interested in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 7:08pm

Yes we always assume that the really attractive don't have love life problems.  My friend has been divorced twice, then she was in a very long term relationship w/ a guy who probably is bipolar.  She still wanted to be friends with him after they split up but now he has a new GF so they probably won't be that close any more.  She hasn't dated anyone in quite a while.  She gets really busy at work and has to get up so early that she probably doesn't even want to go out during the week.  I think the problem w/ being very attractive is that you attract EVERYBODY--so she attracts a lot of undesirables too--it's not like she is just going to attract the best guys.  And after a while I think everybody just gets tired of the whole thing.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 4:09pm

I dated a woman who also worled at a school and did not want her picture out there. I responded to her profile without a picture because she sounded interesting. After a few emails she sent me her picture. I guess at that point I could have stopped seeing her if I had wanted but she was attractive. We stopped dating for other reasons.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 8:29am

There's no doubt that OLD favors those who photograph well. And yes, when there's no photo, I always wonder, and won't contact--I figure the men are married. I feel uncomfortable asking a man for a photo, because if he's ugly, you really don't want to hurt his feelings. I did ask for a photo once from a guy who contacted me who had just put his profile up and didn't have a photo. But he wrote a really good letter and we had a lot in common--I was actually excited (so rare in the OLD world). He was cute, too. Naturally, it didn't work out.

But of course, real life favors the attractive. I once walked behind a wildly attractive young coworker in a bar, and it was like she parted the sea of men. They all just gawked at her--it was amazing. It was like I got to experience what it's like to have all heads turn when you walk by since I was right behind her.

I know none of those men would have been able to identify me later in a lineup for a million dollars. :)

But it's interesting that your attractive friend is even online, and that she didn't find anyone there either, despite her attractiveness. However, she still has the same problem: when it's just random guys coming up to you because you're attractive, you haven't had a chance to get to know each other. Not that it can't work out that way--indeed it sometimes does--but it's far better to keep seeing the same person often over time. Unfortunately, not everyone always has those sorts of opportunities, at least not on a regular basis.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 4:25am

I worked for a dating company.  Many beautiful women did not have their pictures in circulation but were able to pick and choose from men's photos.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 09-08-2013 - 8:54pm

No when I was on OLD, I wouldn't even look at the profiles of men who didn't have pics.  I wouldn't want to be in the positiion of asking the guy to send me a pic and then saying no, cause I figure then it's too obvious why you won't meet & it would hurt their feelings.  When a friend of mine didn't want to post her pic because she was in a high position with a bank & didn't want people knowing, I told her to put something like she would send them a picture if they asked.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 09-08-2013 - 7:27pm

They probably figured since there's no picture there she must be pretty bad. I mean would you agree to meeting someone on OLD just from talking and no picture. He could weigh 600 pounds or something. lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 09-08-2013 - 7:26pm

They probably figured since there's no picture there she must be pretty bad. I mean would you agree to meeting someone on OLD just from talking and no picture. He could weigh 600 pounds. lol