a piece of suggestion

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
a piece of suggestion
35
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 11:28pm

Hi there,

I've noticed that here we're talking a lot about "red flags", such as "you should be careful with guys who are so and so" etc. There are things people can change (such as hygiene, selection of clothings etc.), or cannot change. Commenting about something people can't change in this public forum as a red flag sounds plain brutal and thoughtless to me. Examples I can think about are talking about people who are:
- being short
- being certain ethnicity
- being single and have never married before
- having some health problem
- having non-attractive physical features

Are we super models or perfect people? I think everyone needs a little break and we shouldn't be harsh on something we can't change.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 10:13am

You might have meant this for cycle - my picture is available right off the bat on all sites I am on. And I won't go very far with someone that won't send a picture either. I'll start communication, but they better send one upon request or it is a NEXT thing for me too!

Hey cycle - I am going to start another thread on this topic so it doesn't get lost in this shuffle but we have had many a discussion out here about lack of pictures.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 12:12pm

Hi Vexer, I totally agree with what you said to cyclegirl about not sending a pic until a date has been set. That wouldn't work for me at all. But then I guess what works for one person doesn't always work for another...

I don't meet with guys that I haven't seen a picture of first - there has to be a bit of interest from viewing the pic for me, along with interest in what they write or how they say it in their profile. If I like how they look but their writing turns me off then I "next" them.

For example, I don't care for really sarcastic guys, and I know that it's hard to feel the true tone of writing, but usually a super sarcastic person will convey this in their writing style... a personal preference for me or should I say "non" preference?!... This is part of *my* weeding process and works well for me.

Sure we don't want to be judged on looks alone, but I am realistic enough to say that a person's appearance is a definite part of the equation in the attraction process for me.

Cyclegirl, I am glad that your technique works well for you though.

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 12:39pm
thanks for the tip. we all talked about them already..
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 12:42pm
Yes we did talk about them already, but it's always nice to hear them again....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 2:39pm
IMO, it's a bad idea to try to get to know someone before meeting them in person.

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