Please Read Me, Can't Sleep
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Please Read Me, Can't Sleep
| Sat, 08-19-2006 - 1:15am |
Hi guys, Been awhile since I've trolled here but I was having a tough night and couldn't think of a better place to turn for support. I have been seperated for almost 2 years and still haven't been back into the dating scene. Tonite I'm feeling down because I got news of the ex and his happy new start with his current gf. They just had a baby together, yet he has completely abandoned the kids he has with me.
I have tried a couple online dating sites but have been frustrated with the results. Mainly free sites because money has been tight (no child support from the bum) so I decided to try out match.com. As I scanned through the profiles of men hoping to maybe spark an interest and lift my spirits it did just the OPPOSITE. I am a BBW and every profile I checked of these guys demanded a athletic, slender or average body. Even the regular sloppy joes are picky with the womens bodies! The more profiles I went thru the more depressed I was getting!!! I'm more than just starting to lose hope. I am absolutely beautiful and talented and have so much to offer but will be overlooked because I am overweight. It's just such a slap in the face to my confidence and esteem especially since I have been trying so hard to lose the weight.
I just am curled up and teary eyed tonight. Bad day I think for me. Should I be realistic and think that I'm not going to get the guy without the bod? I have a good amount to lose, 100 pounds but I'm very tall and really am extrememly beautiful. I think it is wishful thinking to believe the perfect man is out there that does not care and he is everything I could want and more.
Thanks for listening, Butters
I have tried a couple online dating sites but have been frustrated with the results. Mainly free sites because money has been tight (no child support from the bum) so I decided to try out match.com. As I scanned through the profiles of men hoping to maybe spark an interest and lift my spirits it did just the OPPOSITE. I am a BBW and every profile I checked of these guys demanded a athletic, slender or average body. Even the regular sloppy joes are picky with the womens bodies! The more profiles I went thru the more depressed I was getting!!! I'm more than just starting to lose hope. I am absolutely beautiful and talented and have so much to offer but will be overlooked because I am overweight. It's just such a slap in the face to my confidence and esteem especially since I have been trying so hard to lose the weight.
I just am curled up and teary eyed tonight. Bad day I think for me. Should I be realistic and think that I'm not going to get the guy without the bod? I have a good amount to lose, 100 pounds but I'm very tall and really am extrememly beautiful. I think it is wishful thinking to believe the perfect man is out there that does not care and he is everything I could want and more.
Thanks for listening, Butters

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Oh, I'm sorry you had such a rough night. Let me tell you, Match can be depressing for all of us - no matter what we look like, how old we are, etc. The Internet makes it so easy for people to be shallow and post a list of demands - when their perfect match might be nothing like that list of demands.
Some of the women I know with the happiest and healthiest relationships are BBW. Love is not limited to one size or shape -- we all deserve and will find love. I truly believe that.
In my personal opinion, Match is one of the worst sites. I see a lot of guys on there who are serial daters and have no intention of finding a LTR. If you do OLD, I'd try some of the other sites instead.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Hi Butter. I know I'm a little late with this and actually this is my first post on this board. I have to agree with all of the posts to your post.
I just HAD to respond to you though because I have been battling something similar. I've been divorced since October 2005 but separated since April 2003. I was 30 pounds lighter 3 years ago and dated like a fiend. lol Now, want to start doing the OLD again. I stopped back in March to give myself a break. In that time, I bought a house and had to get settled. I put the last 10 of my 30 pounds on since that time. Medication (antidepressant) and lower back strain has done that unfortunately. I'm an active person, I just got depressed in the past year. My ex remarried this past April AND I just found out that he and his new wife are expecting. My ex and I have a wonderful 6yr old son. We have joint custody and the ex DOES pay his child support every month, begrudgingly of course. lol He's a good dad, just liked to treat me like a 2 year old and talk down to me. All of my friends and family say that someone will come along when I'm not looking....I'm starting to tire of this since I haven't been looking since March! lol The extra weight has been an issue for me BUT I figure that if a guy wants to be with me because of who I am then that is the one for me. It's still scary though.
I have only tried Match.com and have found a lot of interesting people on there, but no one for the long term. Now, I'm not going to settle for just any-'ol-body. I need intelligent conversation and maturity. :)
I'm glad that you are doing better. Keep your head up. You sound like a wonderful woman!
Jennifer
>> woman of weight<<
I LOVE that phrase. That means you're a "WOW"! That is so perfect - and exactly how men should react to you - "WOW! You're amazing."
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Nicely said!!!!
F
Aww, hugs.
I'm also a single Mom with three young boys. I have about 40-50 extra lbs on me and at some point would I like to lose them~yup. For now though, I'm learning to accept myself and love myself. If I'm not wanted because of the extra lbs. that I'm carrying then that person is certainly not the person for me. I've met several men through OLD. Two of them were considered athletic and toned and had no problem with my weight. Actually I've only had the weight issue brought up once. This one guy kept telling me what a beautiful FACE I had. He said it so many times. He brought up dieting a few times in our conversations too. Kicked him to the curb pretty quickly. I'm a whole package, not just a pretty face. If I choose to lose weight it's becasue I want to for myself, not for some man. I guess my point is that if you can work on boosting your self esteem and KNOW that you are worthy of any man then you will attract men. Self confidence is a great thing and you are worthy of the best things in life!
Good luck in your search~that right man is out there for you~you just haven't found him yet and it may take a while but hold tight~it will happen!!!
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