please remind me how many dates it takes
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please remind me how many dates it takes
| Fri, 10-14-2005 - 8:37pm |
After 3 week dry spell - I mean really...hardly any e-mails, and any that I respond to ghost & never get back to me - someone I'm interested in says he'd like to talk & gave me his number saying he hopes to hear from me.
Please, please remind me that this is the beginning stage, he could ghost at any time or we might not like each other....I'm really bad about getting my hopes up too early!! I need the cautionary reminder!!

I've had my hopes up way too many times as far as dating goes (both online and otherwise). Each time I've thought that things might end up different and perhaps a real relationship might come out of it, but to date, that has not happened. The closest I came was with the guy who lived 40 miles from me and that lasted 3 whole dates. I blindly hoped that he would come to his senses, but after more than a month of not hearing from him, I've written him off. Even though he was about the best looking guy I'd ever dated, looks mean nothing if you end up walking on eggshells around a guy. I'm to the point that now the only reason I wished he'd contact me is so I could give him a dose of his own medicine and tell him what a jerk he turned out to be.
However, I also have to remind myself that "karma" usually comes around on its own. Usually, you don't have to do or say anything to make it happen any quicker. In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't tell off some men who disappointed me in the past. One who I didn't think I'd be talking to again has turned out to be a good friend (not romance, but friendship). The friendship wouldn't have been possible if I had been nasty to him. Burning bridges is never a good idea--not when it comes to employment OR romance. It's a lot easier to wish you'd said something you didn't rather than regret saying something you can't take back. People and circumstances change and you never know how you'll feel (or how someone else will feel)later.
seemed things happen like that all the time. I just got a ghost after a guy told me he liked me after our first date, even he said he wanted to have more before he disappeared. I am stupid enough can take a hint! But he doesn't need to tell me how much he missed me and heart broken without hearing from me before he decided to disappear (unless it was a last min decision!) Why can't they just say on my face that they don't want to talk to me any more?! why he still says sweetest things to me before he decide to be invisible?
I really don't know why some guys act like that. JERKS i guess
update....well, he's a corrections officer. I just don't know if I could get involved with someone who spends his days in a prison with convicted felons...unless I have it wrong, isn't that what they do??
I just don't know....any input??
I have to wonder too. I keep thinking men in their 40's should be more straightforward than they are, but they pull the same crap that men in their 20's pull. I think, ultimately, they don't want to hurt feelings, so they disappear or "ghost" as it's called, without ever letting you know why.
The guy who did this to me admitted to being confused about what he wanted. I blindly hoped he'd get his act together within a reasonable amount of time. I encouraged him to date others and see what else was out there..let him find more "flakes" as he claimed were out there in cyberspace. After this long, I'm sure he doesn't have the guts to admit how badly he handled our dating/meeting situation. Even though it was not a long drawn-out romance, I took it badly when he started the "confused" cold/indifferent routine.
No one deserves to be treated like they're a queen one day and then treated like they aren't even sure they want to spend time with you anymore. Men need to get a backbone, but I take comfort in the fact that some of the ones who don't know what they want aren't likely to find the woman of their dreams anytime soon. I just hate to see some other unsuspecting woman fall for the same line that I did.
Hi,
So what is stopping you about him being a corrections officer? Just curious and I'll then advise accordingly...
I hope this doesn't make me sound shallow....but I've decided not to pursue things with this person. It simply creeps me out to think of being with someone who spends all his working hours with prisoners.
Just my own personal taboo, I guess.
Nope, that's what having choices is about...
(For me personal, the thought of handcuffs... well... *smile*)
But seriously, there is nothing wrong with choosing someone or not choosing them because of what they do. I guess just be honest with him as you can and let him down easy...
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Let's make one thing clear, they don't want to be THERE when they hurt your feelings, they aren't adult enough to handle a break up or ending of something because they know they will hurt your feelings and don't want to deal with whatever might come THERE way. Because either way they hurt your feelings and they know this, this is just EASIER for them because they don't have to deal with any of your being upset with them, etc. It's cowardly.