Is this Pointless?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2009
Is this Pointless?
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 7:28am

I have been chatting with this guy that I met on PlentyofFish for about a month now. I instantly liked him because we both have the same interests and we are both in school-I for my masters and him for his Phd. He's originally from India, and going to school here in the states. We live about 2 hours away, so its also a LD thing too. Well, I added him as a facebook friend and we have been emailing each other everyday and he seems like a pretty decent person.

The problem is, it seems like all he wants to do is chat, he hasn't initiated anything all this time, I don't get it. So, what I did was I put myself out there and initiated a meeting. We both live about 1 hour away from a major city during our chats he mentioned he goes there regularly on the weekends.

I was going to be traveling to that city in the middle of June, so I asked him if he'd like to meet up there since I'd be in town, we could just go out for coffee-something simple, and that it wasn't a date, just more of a 'get to know you thing'.
This was his response: "Hey, I hope you are feeling well now. You are fine!! Actually, I will be moving sometime on the 3rd week of June, hopefully not those 2 days. Will it be OK if I get back to you on this in a couple of weeks? Hope your admission thing is coming along well!!"

Im new to online dating, and it almost seems like maybe he wants a pen pal or something. I don't really know how to take his response and if he's just trying to avoid meeting or something, he has no idea when he'll be moving from his dorm apartment? I dont know, maybe i'm reading too hard into this..

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 11:05am

Hmmm, it sounds a bit like he's only interested in a pen pal. Typically, if a guy is interested, he's going to be trying to meet you and ask you out after that.

If you're fine with keeping him as a pen pal at the moment and just want to wait to see what happens, it's your call. But I wouldn't suggest any more meetings, let him do that. If he doesn't suggest something fairly soon, I'd just move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Sat, 05-30-2009 - 5:15am

Let's see... you met a guy on a dating site, but he doesn't really want to date you. And your question is what, exactly?

Look... he's not into you. If he was, he would have already tried to set up a date. The fact that he doesn't want to DATE you, live, in person, tells you everything you need to know.

Well, stop wasting your time with Mr Nice Guy Who Doesn't Want To Date You.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2009
Sat, 05-30-2009 - 11:08am
My thought is he is not into you or he is hiding something. Sounds like excuses to me. He is on a dating site. Unless his profile says penpals only then he is not interested I would move on.