Politely saying no thank you

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Politely saying no thank you
7
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 12:50pm
I received an email yesterday from a guy on match. Seemed nice, not bad looking. So I replied. He sent me another email asking me where I wanted to go on our first date and did I have a recent picture. He included a new picture of himself and his hair was shorter and he had shaved off his goatee that was in his original profile. Well, two things, the pics I have on my profile I don't consider old (12/04, and I haven't changed) and the new picture he sent of himself looks completely different than the one from his profile. Sorry but not attractive to me. I'm not sure what to say back to him. Any suggestions as to how to say "no thanks"??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 12:59pm

I’m sorry but after further thought and review of your profile I don’t think we’ll make a good match.

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 2:54am

Hi Donna,

You don't owe him anything. I completely agree with SP's suggestion!

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 7:07am
Its been my experience that even trying to get out of it politely doesnt work.... sometimes you end up just getting nastygrams in return... best thing to do is just block... anything else is just superfluous...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 10:30am

If you really feel strongly, then yes, either just block or send the quick email like peanut said and then block.

However my 2 cents, I think you might be being too hasty. I don't think he necessarily meant anything rude by his request for "recent" pictures. All you would have to do on that one is say "My pictures are only a couple months old so I feel they are a good representation of what I look like now." As for the picture he sent not looking like the other one, if you have any remaining interest in the guy, you might just mention it "Hey, I notice your new picture looks a lot different! I liked the goatee!" But just because his hair is shorter and he doesn't have a goatee doesn't mean he doesn't look like the guy in the first picture! Maybe he took these others more recently and some friend of his said to him "you look great in this picture without the goatee" because they don't like the goatee so he believed him and thought he'd have that one as a backup. Everyone has preferences - some pictures of me that I absolutely hate my friends say are good and ones that I like, they tell me are not so good. It's all personal opinion. If he otherwise seems like a nice guy that you enjoy talking to, what does it hurt to find out a little more? It isn't like you are making a big commitment of your time.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 10:51am

Perfect example, vexer: remember that time I changed my picture on here

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 12:49pm
I sent him a quick message saying thank you for the email but I'm overwhelmed right now and I'm going to pass on getting to know you.
The "overwhelmed" part is very true right now. In the last week I've had a slew (sp?) of emails coming in. I don't know if it's the warmer weather or what!! It took me alittle by surprise actually.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 2:28pm
Exactly! Even tho your picture you have up now and that other picture were both taken pretty recently, I personally think you look completely different! Doesn't change what you look like in person - it is just tough to sometimes pick which picture we think looks like us the most. I agonize over the pictures that I have in my profile - I hate having my picture taken and don't have many of me that I like. I think I look pretty good in person tho! :-)

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo