Poof

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Poof
2
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 11:33pm
Can anyone tell me why someone would respond to your ad, seem to show quite a bit of interest, lots in common, email for a week or two and then "POOF" ..... gone. No words of explanation, just done. I don't get it, after all...... they contacted ME.
By the way, I go by the rules, don't talk about ex relationship, don't mention committed relationships... just looking to meet people and see what happens. I keep it light and fun...
thanks for the advice!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: juliette454
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 1:48am

Hi Juliette, welcome to the board. If you happen to read any other posts, you'll find this is a VERY common thing...we even have our own "inside joke" name for it on this board: we call it "ghosting" (disappearing without a trace).

My philosophy is, why ask why. Who knows why people do this? They just do...for 101 different reasons, I'm sure. I don't bother getting frustrated about it any more, I just shrug and go, "oh well, next!".

It really has nothing to do with YOU, personally, at all. It's just the nature of the beast...for whatever reason, they didn't think you were a good fit for them, or they got busy with life and decided dating was too much work, or they met someone else...or who knows!!!

Also, my philosophy is, if someone is right for you, it won't matter what you say...they will be on the same page. And if someone isn't right for you, you can say all the "right" things and it won't make one bit of difference, it's still not gonna work.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: juliette454
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 12:10pm
You are talking about somebody at the other end of an email address. There are about 1000 reasons they would disappear. They lied about everything they said, they're married, they have a girlfriend, they fear commitment, they have low self-esteem. Don't think one second thought about it. This is why we push for phone calls and meetings.