poor attitude, need a break

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
poor attitude, need a break
3
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 12:24pm

Well ladies, I think I'm done for a while. Mr. Brady turned out to be a great guy for some other lady, but definitely not for me, and we broke things off. I'm too frustrated to put in the effort right now & I don't have a good attitude...I think I need a break.

It's interesting...if I feel this way, I wonder how many men in my area feel the same way. In other words...the heck with it! I have a good life, I see friends, I'm happy, why bother with all the work (and it is SOOOOO much work, with so little pay off). I know that this was addressed in the "I know I'm going to get flack for this" thread, and a lot of it makes sense. Maybe people my age (40's give or take) are too busy & have too may other interests to put in additional effort.

What do you guys think?? Are we destined to stay single because it's too much work to pursue a relationship? If someone lives in a busy, crowded area (I'm in NJ) is there too much of a temptation to look for the next possible catch, therefore never putting in any real effort?? Or do I just need a break, and then an attitude adjustment?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 1:05pm

I've had to give up dating these last few months too. Not because I had a bad experience but I finally put my mind to do a few things I've always wanted to do and I simply haven't had a minute to spare. I can't see the point of starting a relationship when I am knee-deep in a bunch of other projects, which are going very successfully I might add.

If I stayed single for the rest of my life I certainly wouldn't mind. I'd like to meet a great guy but I want certain things in a man and at this stage I am not willing to compromise. It isn't worth it for me to date Mr. Right-Now as opposed to Mr. Right at this stage of my life, mind you I have had my share of wonder Mr. RNs though and won't regret anything.

Take a few months off and you will be fine. I too, will get back into the game when I have some time, probably around February. Although a fabulously good-looking man was making eyes at me last weekend, I should find out who he was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2005
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 1:09pm

You just need a break. I know exactly how you feel. I, periodically, hide my profile and take a "rest" from it all. I think resting is a good thing. You're right about it being a lot of work. I also find it very stressful at times. Too many emotional ups and downs. Inevitably, however, I get bored and decide to go back and see if there are any new guys, etc. Kind of a cycle for me, I guess.

<<>>

I am also blessed with a wonderful life. I think sometimes just stepping back and realizing how much we do have makes us realize that we are o.k. It would be nice to have someone BUT, even if we NEVER find someone we will be o.k. I get a lot of peace from that realization and hopefully you will too. What will be, will be....

Gotta run - need to check my Match.com page.... :-) Just kidding.... sort of...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 1:19pm

Thanks, I appreciate the input. No doubt I'll get back to it (maybe even this weekend when I'm bored!), but right now I just need a break.

Plus, like you both said, it doesn't hurt me to take a step back & count my blessings!