posting an ad on CL

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
posting an ad on CL
10
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 11:04am

Hello everybody.

I frequent CL very often and I see the same postings almost everyday (the rejects). I've come to a dry spell and I was thinking of posting an ad myself on CL, but before I do, I'd like to know what would be the pros and cons in doing so. Does anybody have experience with this web site?

Will my email Inbox be filled with the loons or will I get a good bunch?

What do I need to be careful of once I post an ad up, especially on CL? What do I have to look out for?

Also, I know I should invest in a "real" dating site, but there's the fair share of bad pickings on, say, Yahoo or Match, compared to CL, right? That's another question: which one seems to be more "safer": real dating sites or CL (the free ones)?

Thank you everybody!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 11:57am

I would really think twice about using it if I were you, because it sounds to me from your previous OLD experiences that you posted about that you don't have good screening boundaries in place and that is *essential* if you're going to use CL.

But if you're going to do it, some thoughts on doing so:

--don't post a pic unless you want to open yourself up to posts of comments and criticism from strangers (this isn't an issue on the regular sites), but rather say in your ad that you'll send a pic to those who send you one if you're interested in talking further with them.

--immediately delete any emails that mention sex or (worse) have penis pictures attached (and you will almost certainly get some) and block the senders.

--remember to make the email account that you use completely anonymous (esp important to check how it shows up in someone's inbox--it may show your name without you meaning it to).

--I'd say the loon ratio is probably about 30-40% or so.

I don't think CL is any less safe than the regular sites, IF (and that's a big if) you have good screening mechanisms in place.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 2:29pm

CL is the only OLD site I'll use now. Match was good when I first started using it two years ago, but really went downhill for me. My most recent experience with yahoo, in the spring, was so useless I cancelled before my membership expired. I got very few responses, and none from anyone I'd ever want to meet. So I can't justify paying for either ever again.

CL has been very good for me. I can't believe how many responses I've gotten and I'm in my 40s. Younger women must be positively flooded with responses. You do have to have a good screening mechanism in place, as Sheri says, and it can be frustrating because it's so free-form, as opposed to questionnaire-based; you tend not to know nearly as much about someone as you would from reading their profile on match or yahoo.

I've met perfectly nice guys from CL and I'm corresponding with one right now. It's definitely worth a shot, but be careful, as with any OLD site. And don't post a pic on CL, as Sheri and others advised me when I asked. The anonymity of the Internet is not always a good thing and can bring out the jerks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 10:40pm
I have met 17 men in person from CL -- except for 1 bad experience, I would consider all the others good dates with nice, normal, attractive, eligible men. And I'm actually involved now with someone I met from CL. In my experience, 99% of the responses are "normal". Women get a ton of responses so I definitely say go for it. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 11:11am
I avoid free sites as it is more likely to find cheaters and married men on them as they need not use a credit card as other sites require and their so can't find it on the bill, etc. Also lack of pic generally is a sign of a cheater but not always. Free sites also indicate to me that he is cheap if not a cheater, haha.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2006
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 11:54am
I respectfully disagree. When you've been OLDing for years, it's a refreshing change because you actually get a lot of responses and usually more than one have possibilities. You have to screen better than on the paying OLD sites but it provides an alternative to those as they've become weary - same old pics, same old guys, etc. And believe me, there are married men on EVERY OLD site. That point is moot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2004
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 2:13pm

O.K. I'm curious, what is CL?

The Unicorn

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 6:39pm
Craig's List.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Sat, 10-28-2006 - 7:25pm

The few times I posted an ad on CL have brought me to this conclusion:

Quality men are a DIME a dozen. And that's being extremely generous.

Most of the men who responded had abhorent grammar. Most appeared to be seeking a quickie hook up. Many seemed to be looking for an ego stroke and would disappear after a few emails....this, after we'd exchanged photos and seemed to share an initial physical attraction. (Someone should fund a study for the link between internet dating and ADD).

But sometimes, a glimmer of hope appears. He's good looking, sounds quite sincere, seems to have a good head on his shoulders. "How refreshing!", you think to yourself. Soon, you find yourself exchanging emails. Perhaps you're fortunate enough to move things to the phone. Better yet, things progress beyond that- you meet in person.

Ahhhh, then suddenly he's abducted by aliens. Never to be seen again.

A common scenario. I think you'd have better luck on Myspace, actually. The problem with CL (and this is just my observation) is you do see a lot of "recycling" going on. Many of the ads are the same ones posted over and over. Serial daters. Sadly, I've found it isn't much better on the paying sites either. Losers abound everywhere.

You'll get a ton of responses from CL, no doubt. But quality? That's questionable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 12:15am

You're right that it's a dime a dozen to find a decent man on CL.

I definitely don't like it when they disappear on you, even right after you both exchanged photos. It just seems like a waste of time and I worry what they could possibly be doing with the photos, you know?

I had a "glimmer of hope" the second time around I responded to one guy's ad on CL...until he started up with cyber sex. Sigh...so close. He'll always be my "cyber sex dude" though. lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 1:10am

I tried CL. I put that I was a SBF seeking a nice guy to have fun with. I also stated that my ad wasn't a NSA ad or FWB ad, yet I got penis shots, married men, guys with the "exotic" fantasy guys.

It's fun to get the attention, but it's really creepy too. I am getting to know a guy who isn't in my state but I don't have plans to meet him when he moves here. But I have to admit, I like reading the crazy ads too, it's some wild people out here.