The Profiles Up Down thingy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
The Profiles Up Down thingy
5
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 7:00pm

Please advise how you've successfully had this discussion!!!!

IOW, HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cg

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 7:13pm
confused. What is the question?

 
 
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 7:15pm

What's the context? How long have you been seeing each other? Have you discussed exclusivity at all?

I've never found this to be a difficult discussion...of course, whether the guy is telling the truth about taking his profile down (and not putting another one up) is a different story ;-). But with a good, honest guy who's into you...it's pretty easy, in my experience. It's gone something like this (after having discussed and agreed that we do want to date each other exclusively):

ME: "My definition of dating exclusively includes each of us taking all of our dating profiles down from online sites, how about you?"

HIM: "of course!! I'll take mine down as soon as I get home." (said with an expression of surprise, like why would he think otherwise?)

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 8:06pm

I have CONSISTENTLY (and it's probably just the guys I've met) gotten in reply: well, it's not that I don't want to date you, but I just need to also be able to have my options open.

It literally has freaked guys out - and also has led to them putting their profiles back up behind my back.

So now I just try to avoid the topic - which is WORSE.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 8:08pm
If you're not exclusive they can.
 
 
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 8:10pm

Then those guys are not right for you, as you've concluded. They can go date someone else if they want to keep their options open, ya know???

And yes, it's worse to avoid the topic.

Just out of curiosity though...how soon are you bringing it up?

Sheri