pushy or am I overreacting?

Avatar for cutiekitty516
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
pushy or am I overreacting?
12
Mon, 01-02-2012 - 12:41am
This guy from POF started messaging me 2 days ago; he had sent out 2 messages before I even replied to one of his. At the end of each of his messages, he says I can reply to him @ his gmail address instead of through POF. I have only reaponded through POF because I know that if I send something to his personal account, he will have my personal email address,which I am not comfortable with unless I get to know someone better.

He sent me an email tonight and said "send me your next response to my email account @ ***. Also, do you have a Facebook account?". He also asked me, since he is new to the area, if I would like to show him around. Maybe I'm being paranoid or maybe it's residual trust issues I'm having, but I don't want him knowing any personal (identifiable) information about me just yet. I feel he is being pushy, but like I said before, maybe I'm being paranoid. What do you all think? Thanks in advance for your insight.
    

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Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Mon, 01-02-2012 - 6:34am

No, you're not being paranoid. There's no reason on earth to give this man any of your contact information (most especially your Facebook account)--you've not even met him. You have no idea who he is. If he wants to contact you, he can do it through POF. Then, if you do meet, you can decide whether you want him to have your real email and phone number. All you have to say is, "I don't feel comfortable giving out my contact information to someone I haven't met."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2010
Mon, 01-02-2012 - 12:09pm
You are not over reacting, trust your gut!~
Avatar for cutiekitty516
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
Mon, 01-02-2012 - 2:19pm
I told him that I wasn't comfortable giving out my info yet; he seemed to understand but hopes that I will share it with him in the near future.

Something else is bothering me...his screen name is N***dj, and his primary photo is of him wearing headphones and sitting in front of a microphone--looking like a deejay. I asked him what being a deejay was like; he told me that he isn't a deejay, but his best friend is and he occasionally helps him out. He says that the 'dj' in his screen name refers to his middle and last initials....coincidence? I guess they could be his initials, but I find it kinda weird that he uses a picture of him 'deejaying' as his primary picture. Something seems kinda off, but I can't quite put my finger on it. At the very least, I think the picture is misleading. I tried to ask him what he does for a living; he only tells me that he has a degree in graphic arts and moved to my city with his parents so he could look for work in his field. So, I'm also questioning if he is A) unemployed, and B) still lives with his parents. He is 34 by the way (or so he says)
    
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Mon, 01-02-2012 - 3:41pm
Your original post didn't sound like you were overreacting but when you posted again I got the impress you were over thinking him.

I agree....go with your gut. Move forward or cut him loose.

San
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 01-02-2012 - 7:10pm

No your gut is right. He could be ok but on POF he does not need your email.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 01-02-2012 - 7:20pm

I wouldn't over analyze someone's screen name or why they picked a certain photo--maybe he does DJ work some of the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Tue, 01-03-2012 - 8:43pm
I don't think you are over reacting but maybe he is just eager since he is new in town. Go with your gut though. I had one guy that I gave my cll phone and he started texting me good morning texts even though I did not know him and other crap like that. He started being very pushy and I cancelled my date with him because I had a bad feeling about him acting like that without even hearing my voice even.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2012
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 9:05pm

It's not you, he def is being pushy. You might be the first person to really respond to him and he wants to see how far he can take it with you. Or he might just be pushy all together, that's how he has to be with other females to get what he wants. If you do not want to give out your personal info don't do it, do not feel pressured into it. He might he than crazy type!!!:smileymad:

www.findingfreedomteam.com/ KLittle
Avatar for cutiekitty516
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 10:02pm
Update: I found out that he has no job, lives with his parents, and drinks like a fish. He is 34 years old; at this stage in my life (early 30's), I would like someone who has their sh*t together...hope that doesn't sound too harsh, but that's what I'm looking for. He asked if I would show him around town; all I could think is that it would be on my dime. I've had men use me financially before (even ones that had more money than I did/do), so this is a concern. Based on the above, I had to "next" him. Thank you all for your insight!
    
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2011
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 1:56am

Nope, always trust your gut!! And remember, you never have to do anything or give anyone any information that you feel uncomfortable with.

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