question about the doc again...
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| Sat, 11-12-2005 - 2:27pm |
Hey... I have a new question now.. :(
So on Wednesday (our third date) he asked me if I am free this weekend. My ex was going to come and visit me since I just moved to the area, and he lives 4 hours driving distance away. He planned to visit me since 2 months ago... there were some unclear issues and at that time we were talking about the possibility of getting back together. So I told the doc that I have a friend coming to visit so I am all booked (he knows it's a male friend...) He said that's too bad 'cause he was really looking forward to spending the weekend with me. We planned a date for Tuesday instead.
On Friday my ex decided not to come (long story... he has a deadline, and I think also because I told him that I am seeing this guy now and hinted that perhaps it's not appropriate for him to come now). The minute I found out, I called the doc excitedly (because I saw signs that I've finally moved on, and that i thought I get to spend time with the doc) and left a message saying that my "friend" cancelled so my weekend frees up now. I asked him if he's still available this weekend and still wants to hang out. He hasn't called me back... I IMed him last night (just asking if he was there?) and also called him this morning... no one answered.
I was confused... I thought that he wanted to spend time with me. But after talking to two male friends of mine, they both said that it's likely that he's upset with me right now because men are not stupid, and they can sense it if it's your ex that you're seeing... I suppose that's right... if it was just a regular male friend, I would've invited him to join our weekend activities. :( And secondly I probably made him feel that he's just my "backup" plan. But it's not the case at all! I was actually dreading the idea about my ex visiting, and was happy to hear he decided not to come! Of course the doc doesn't know about this...
What do you think? Did I handle the situation terribly? What should I do now? Thanks!
Jess

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No, you don't have the wrong expectation of thinking someone would be polite to return a call. It is possible that he sensed something was up with your male visitor and personally, if I had sensed that I would consider breaking it off with the person. I've dated men in the past with strings and I wouldn't do it again...
However, is this the same man that treated you rudely? I'm trying to find your original post about him, but can't seem to...
Based on that hon, I really don't think he's worth pursuing. I know a lot of the women here always say that if a man wants you, he will let you know. And it's true. This guy... he's a wasted effort. You deserve a lot more, someone like the guy who was excited when he found out you were free this weekend.
Don't waste your time on people who are not wasting their time on you.
Jess,
Doc was your second choice, and he knows that.
Meade
"Yes... this is the same guy who had broken three dates so far (two with phone calls at the last minute, and one without)... sigh."
Honey, what are you still doing with this guy??
Cut him loose. Have fun at the party!!
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