Question about others' experience
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Question about others' experience
| Wed, 08-09-2006 - 7:44am |
I would like opinions on the following problems I am experincing with OLD. I have recently decided to dive back in to OLD on Yahoo after being on and off of Match for a about 2 years with little success. In my profile narrative, I talk a little about myself and I also mention that I would like to be friends with someone first and see where that goes. I also have a section where I talk about the characteristics of my match. These are basically my deal breakers. I don't call them deal breakers, but they are all pretty big, such as wanting to get married at some point and have children. I make it clear that I would like to date and be friends with someone who wants to get married someday and have kids. My problem lies in the fact that almost every guy that has contacted me does not want kids or does not really have any of the characteristics I am looking for. Has anyone else experienced this? Am I just having a run of bad luck? My profile is pretty specific. Could it be that people are confused when I say I would like to be friends first? Help!

Well, there is nothing wrong with what you are asking for. Of course you want to ease into a long term relationship slowly, develop a healthy friendship before you fall head over heels and do something reckless and yes, you want this to result in marriage and children.
I think men just don't get it. They don't stop to break it down into the steps that you have identified. If they just wanted to be 'friends' they wouldn't need a dating site. But If they admit they want marriage and children, they may get roped into too much too soon by an enthusiastic gal. They can't come right out and SAY they just want sex. Its the whole Mars/Venus thing.
So they default to the shotgun approach---sending a message to every woman with a decent picture. Let the WOMEN do all the work.
I'd say---take the marriage and children stuff off your profile, (BUT NOT off your own priority list) Use OLD to meet guys, date and have fun. HOPE you'll run into your prince with decent values along the way.
And IMHO, Yahoo is a meat market. Can someone recommend a better site?
YG
http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/
YG
http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/