Question about real life dating
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| Tue, 01-02-2007 - 9:35pm |
Hi all,
This is a question about a guy I met in real life, but you all have been so helpful with the online dating stuff I thought I'd ask this question here.
Ok...M and I work (or worked, past tense as it turns out)together and he is about 6 years younger than me. I'm 29 and he's 23, which is older than I first thought he was, but still....anyway, so those were to two things keeping me from pursuing our little flirtation we've had going for months. So little by little I let go of the age thing, since I'm not looking for a LTR anyway, which was a surprise to me when I finally figured that out! And he is so much fun and cute and...ah crap, I'm totally smitten.
And as for the work thing, his last day was this past Friday. Oy. So we were supposed to go out a few weeks ago, but I had a headache and ended up going to bed at 7:00, so I missed his call (it was all tentative anyway). Then the last week he and I worked together (which was last week) I had the same headache that ended up being a sinus infection, so I was just sort of sticking to my cubicle and trying not to pass out from all the cold medicine I was taking. On his last day he invites everyone around us to lunch, but ME! I was so bummed, then later in the day we meet up by chance in the file room...he asked when we were going to try to go out again and me with my futile attempt at coyness (which I think was TOO coy) answered "when do you wanna?" He said how about next weekend (which is this weekend coming up) and said yes, trying to balance that coyness with the right amount of enthusiasm. Then he said "I don't know, you've been avoiding me, so maybe you don't want to." Ugh. So I tried explaining that I haven't been feeling well, blah blah. And I reassured him that I would love to go out with him next weekend. But when he left work (for good) he gave me a half hearted hug. I even tried joking around with him by saying "it's about time you leave." I meant to continue and say that now that we don't work together anymore that won't be an issue, as a way to truly assure him that I am interested. But he didn't let me get it out and left and that was that. Now we have tentative plans for this weekend, but I haven't heard from him. Should I call him? What if he decided he wasn't interested and just said that stuff in the file room so he could turn it around on me and he's not the bad guy - ugh I think I'm paranoid...my ex did this.
I think my time spent online dating has warped me. I seem to be following the same rules of letting them pursue me, but my coyness has turned this guy off, or at least made him think I'm not interested. Then again, maybe he has no interest in me romantically and if I call him I could end up being very embarressed. Another route I could take is that his friend works with me still. I know it would be so juvenile to ask him if M is interested, but I am very tempted because this is driving me crazy.
Any thoughts? And has anyone else found that dating in real life after dating online has changed the way you approach it?

Hmm. I don't see that you were "coy" at all. He asked about next weekend, you said yes. He should call you to follow up.
Sheri