Question on (in)consideration
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| Thu, 02-17-2005 - 12:15pm |
OK, I gave one of the new guys from Matchmaker my #. I am not incredibly overwhelmed by him, but he is attractive and attentive so I figured why not. He said he would call me yesterday and I went to a movie last night so I didn't take my phone but I got home and no mesage - no biggie. I am coming down with some crud so I went to bed early (for me) by around 11-11:30. I check my voicemail today and he called last night at 11:30! I'm sorry - but is it just me or is it rude and inconsiderate to call someone you don't even know at 11:30 PM? Luckily, my phone was in the other room and it didn't bother me or wake me up (and of course you all know my habit of not hearing my phone) but this just strikes me as pretty thoughtless.
Since I wasn't all that into him and now this, I debate calling back. Any thoughts?

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What a putz...who would call someone they don't know at 11:30 at night...
I guess you could give him a chance (I'm feeling charitable today).
Sheri, my *thumbs up* response to NGOL was in reference to his logical and most importantly, positive and plausible reasons as to WHY the guy may have called so late.
His points were valid.
And I agree, the guy calling so late was dumb on his part.
But my main point stills stands. Women 'ding' or 'next' a guy for the most pickeyuney excuses that exist. Just read some of the posts here.
Some people have commented... on my comment... on this subject stating that it's Universal... that guys 'ghost' for no reason also. I disagree. I bet they have a great reason. Unfortunately, that reason is just not known to the 'ghostee'.
Look... I'm not trying to start an argument. I am only saying I see many women here post about 'dumping' a guy... long before there is a significant reason to dump. It makes me wonder WHY.
Relationships... those that are good and loving and strong... are so hard to come by... it hurts when I read, "He said he would call me at 7:00; it was 7:01 when the phone rang. NEXT!!". Well, you get my point.
This board is filled with attractive and intelligent women who are worth having a good man. I hate to see the game of Jump To Conclusions played out well before a guy has made his first phone call to any of you.
You wrote "I am coming down with some crud so I went to bed early (for me) by around 11-11:30"
so is there a possibility he was aware of the fact you usually stay up late?
One other observation.....yes, it was inconsiderate, but the poor guy can't win....if he hadn't called at all then he'd be in just as much trouble.
MS
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

MSNice post, John! I agree that we are at times too quick to "next" a guy for what sometimes is a simple mistake or misunderstanding. Doesn't anyone give second chances anymore, or am I the only sap?
Holly
I'm with you there, nep. It may be just because I don't experience the numbers the others do on this board, but I tend to give people a chance. Actually, for me it's more than just giving a second chance. People make mistakes and I totally accept that.
I prefer faulty people, anyway. They tend to make me look good! :)
amjay
I give second chances a LOT, on a wide range of behavior...but to me, calling a stranger that late without permission is just TOO far outside the bounds of normal, acceptable behavior to consider doing so if I were in Vex's shoes. I mean, who DOES that???? It truly blows my mind that anyone would think that was ok.
And to the poster who wrote that he should get credit for calling at all...I disagree. He should have called at a socially acceptable time, or if he couldn't do so, he should have emailed and apologized for not calling as he said he would. THAT would be considerate behavior.
Sheri
no, we had never discussed that I am a night owl. We had exchanged a few brief emails and there is nothing about it in my profile. If he was aware, it wouldn't have bothered me - honest. The other guy I am talking to IS aware I am a night owl - he asked me when we were talking the other night how late was too late to call. I told him I am usually up until midnight or later. He called last night late and I am not upset (of course I didn't hear the phone b/c I went to bed early again) because he was already aware that I am a late nighter, so it is not a big deal. It might seem like a double standard, but I don't think so. It is all about knowing what is acceptable and what is not. He already knew it was OK to call me late. The other guy didn't.
Actually, I am not one to get too particular on whether someone calls WHEN they say they will or not. Especially at this stage. If he hadn't called, I would have chalked it up to any number of reasons and moved on. I would rather him not call at all and call the next day at a reasonable hour than to call a perfect stranger at an unreasonable hour.
Hey everyone!
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