question re. phone calls (nothing major)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
question re. phone calls (nothing major)
6
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 5:37pm
Someone contacted me online and we spoke on the phone last Sunday. He had to go because someone arrived at his house and he asked if he could call the next day. He didn't call until Friday. Again he had to go suddenly and said he'd call again. My thought right now is "Yeah, okay. Whatever." Maybe he'll call and maybe he won't. I'm certainly not picking up the phone to call him.

I've never had more than 2 phone conversations with a man I met online before he suggested meeting. And I've had a couple of lukewarm sounding guys tell me to call them...and I didn't. What do you do when you've spoken to someone (who sounds interested and interesting) a couple of times and he makes no mention of going out? Although I'm all in favour of allowing a man to pursue you and initiate phone calls and dates, with online dating carrying on over the phone for too long is a waste of time. So do you bring it up if he doesn't?

jhoover

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 9:29am
Hi jhoover,

Hmm, that sounds strange. There have been a couple of guys I talked to on the phone twice before going out, but no one who hasn't asked me out by the second conversation. Is he new to online dating? Maybe he isn't sure what the protocol is?

I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I don't think I'd ask him out just b/c that's not how I do things, so I guess I'd probably give it one more chance and if he doesn't ask you out, ask him if he's met in person other people from the online site - and say that you prefer to meet in person sooner rather than later, and see how he responds. Good luck! :-)

ginger

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 9:50am
Hi Ginger,

This, by the way, is the guy I wrote about last week. Remember, I felt like an idiot b/c I have a hard time talking on the phone? So, obviously I did hold up my end of the conversation well enough for him to (eventually) call back.

Is he new to online dating? He said he's been on for a couple of months. I still haven't asked if he's met anyone yet in person. If he does call again though I think I will mention that I feel it would be best to meet rather than continue this way.

jhoover

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 10:39am
Hi jhoover,

Yeah, I figured it was the same guy. So your phone skills aren't as bad as you thought! :-) Your plan to bring up meeting sounds like a good idea - hope it works out. Keep us posted! :-)

ginger

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 2:23pm
When I advance to the phone and the conversation is lukewarm, really short or does not proceed to setting up a face to face meeting, I usually move on. I don't have time to waste on men that are just not that interested in learning about me. And boy, when a man is interested he sures does show it! If a guy has to go or cancels and asks to reschedule that is fine with me. Life happens. But, if he does it two times, again, I move on. Right now I've been corresponding with a man and we talked on the phone 2 times and he had to cancel our meeting last week. He did call to reschedule a couple of days later and I'm meeting him tonight for a drink. He is in the process of buying a house in my neck of the woods, so I am giving him extra leeway!!! :)

summer

Avatar for stars_eyes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 9:01am
From the sound of it, I don't really like this guy. Its just how I view a man putting me before anything else. I like to feel the sense of importance and not being thrown off if he happened to have someone coming around to visit him or another phone call or anything else coming up. That should be enough to tell me how he will treat me in the future.

Thats just me anyway,

Melly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 10:05am
When it comes to online meeting, sometimes I initiate the idea of meeting at the end of the first phone call - unless they have to go, suddenly - if no plans are made to meet by the end of the first phone call (except if there are interruptions), that is the end of my interaction with the person.