A quick story...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
A quick story...
29
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 11:28am

...about OLD.

One day last week a young guy that I work with asks me to pull up Match.com on the Internet. I had no idea anyone else in the office is doing OLD. Anyway, he shows me a profile of this woman who is 30 years old, and who contacted him (he's about 24). He said they had already had a great date and he really liked her. As I scanned her profile, I though "How did I ever miss this one?". She did seem really great, at least on paper and from her pictures. He tells me they have another date planned for the weekend.

So, this last Monday I ask him about their date and he says it didn't go well -- he cancelled at the last minute to go out with his guy friends, and she got pretty upset. He doesn't know I do OLD (at least I don't think so), and I decide I'm going to contact this woman.

I unhide my profile just to send her a wink. My Match and Yahoo profiles are both hidden and I am not currently paying on either site. Well, she reponds pretty quickly to the wink, with an email saying something along the lines of:

"Thanks for winking at me. You seem like a really great guy, however, I don't think we are a match. I just don't think I can get over the 'Erotica' thing. Sorry, that's really just not my thing".

She was obviously referring to the section called "Turn Ons" in Match where you can choose from a lot of different stuff like "Thunderstorms", "Candles", etc. I do have "Erotica" listed. I have never had anyone have any problem whatsoever with anything in that section. I just found it kinda amusing -- it was probably a way for her to just say "not interested". What do ya'll think? I mean, surely she comes across guy profiles that have "erotica" listed in Turn Ons all the time. Anyway, what would her definition of that be? I've seen lots of women with that listed as a TO. It could mean you like semi-nude pictures, or nude art, or many different things. She just made it sound like I was some sleazy perv by including that.

Anyway, I'm not gonna change it.. :).

Eric

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: eric_35m
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 2:56pm

I don't know what he would have said, but I would have said: "See what can happen when you cancel a second date to go out with your buddies?"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: eric_35m
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 3:54pm
LOL. Good one!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
In reply to: eric_35m
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 7:14pm

I guess I didn't give enough information in my original post. My friend told me that the woman had basically said she didn't want to date a guy who cancels last minute for his friends. So, they were not going to be going out again.

I don't think I would have contacted her at all if she was still dating my friend. I know she would still be "fair game" technically, but I doubt he would have shown me her profile if he had not cared that I contacted her.

Eric

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: eric_35m
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 7:42pm

I think some people are confused as to what "erotica" means...I think the image they get in their heads are of men with gag balls in their mouth and spanking, when it really isn't necessarily that at all.

Definition I found and have always thought when I heard the word erotica:

rotica, from the Greek eros, "love", are works of art, including literature, photography, sculpture and painting, that deal substantively with erotically stimulating or arousing descriptions. Erotica is rather a modern word used to describe the portrayal of human sensuality and sexuality with high-art aspirations, differentiating such work from commercial pornography.




Edited 8/12/2005 7:43 pm ET ET by sniffle_sally
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: eric_35m
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 7:45pm
Well then why have "turn ons and turn offs" in the profile at all???
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: eric_35m
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 8:52pm

Yeah see if we didn't put it in the profile, then we're baiting the people under false circumstances... But Erotica is so general a term! Could go from one end of the spectrum to the other...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: eric_35m
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 10:17pm

I had Erotica in my t-ons for 2 reasons: I happen to like erotica (PALE blue movies)and I want the guy to know I'm not a prude. A little message, that's all.

Of course the irony with Eric is, only a female would actually take the time to read the t-ons part! I skip that. I'm only interested in the t-offs. Says a lot about a person, IMHO.

Just remember, when faced with DO/DO NOT questions, people tend to pick DO simply because they don't very much DO NOT like something. I don't really think they mean anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: eric_35m
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 11:13pm
What is a pale blue movie?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
In reply to: eric_35m
Sat, 08-13-2005 - 11:06pm

Porn movies are called blue movies. This is a great explanation: http://ask.yahoo.com/ask/20031003.html

Pale blue would be soft porn. Very pale - I'm guessing R rated or just slightly over that.


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