raunchy story....a deal-breaker?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
raunchy story....a deal-breaker?
14
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 11:00pm

So Mr. Brady & I have been speaking by phone, and will have a second date on Tuesday. He's always very polite when we talk, same as when we met, bought my coffee, got up to get it for me, etc., very understanding if I don't have time to talk because my kids are with me.

So I was surprised when during a conversation, he prefaced a story by telling me it was grotesque, and he hoped it wouldn't offend me. Then he told me about a plane trip from hell where the person across the aisle from him sh** his pants.

Why would anyone tell this type of story a). to a woman, and b) to someone they just met??

Yuck!! Is this a red flag, or at least bizzare to anyone??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 11:08pm
If you've been talking awhile, I don't see the big deal. If something that gross happened to me, I'd probably share it just because it was such a gross and unusual thing to experience. You know, kind of like, "you won't believe what happened..." The fact he even prefaced it, showed consideration for you. With my personality, I would probably just blurt it out just the way I stated above.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 11:12pm

It's kind of hard to say.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 11:20pm

We were talking about different types of travel & what we don't like...I hate to travel by car, he hates planes.

I just hate "bathroom" stories so much....maybe it just hit a hot button....or maybe I just expect everyone to be like me...I just don't see why anyone would even share a story like that, let alone to someone they don't know very well!

Maybe it's just me??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 11:32pm

If you were talking about bad travel experiences then no, it wouldn't have bothered me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 6:25am
In that context it wouldn't bother me at all. But then I'm pretty open about a lot of things....
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 7:56am

Thanks all, I'm feeling better....he must not have had any idea of the effect it would have on me, & since no one else seems to have reacted like I did, I'm not going to worry about it. I will, however let him know this kind of thing grosses me out (I won't say it out of the blue...that would be a weird second date conversation). I have a feeling he would appologize & wouldn't bring it up again.

I'd hate to let a "little" incident become a deal breaker at this early stage....I'll let you know how date 2 goes & I'll see from there!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 9:02am

OMIGOD - do you really think that kind of throw-away story is a 'red flag'?? Honestly, I think you need to lighten up. Don't mean to be rude, but really - you see this as a possible deal-breaker? Really? Seems kind of harsh to me, but I guess it comes down to individual tastes and choices.

Good luck!

Coolas

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 9:37am

For each person that question has a different answer. It might mean he is really comfortable with you or he's just rude. Not sure it would bother me if everything else about him so far seems fine.

Are you looking too hard for something to find on him negatively? Be careful on that.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 9:47am
Doesn't offend me. Just sounds like him describing the crappy (literally) flight.


Edited 10/28/2005 9:54 am ET by sniffle_sally
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Fri, 10-28-2005 - 11:19am
If that had happened to me (his experience on the plane) and the subject of airplane travel came up in any future conversation how could I NOT relate that story? I mean, you sure don't see something like that every day.
Relax, he was just sharing an unusual experience as part of a topic you were already discussing...he doesn't know you or what offends you, besides he's a guy. They like potty humor. Doesn't mean he's some kind of freak or a jerk.
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