Re-dating
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| Wed, 11-08-2006 - 12:37am |
Have any of you ever dated someone again who you'd dated a long time back?
I had been in a 2 year relationship and joined OLD when my X and I broke up about 1.5 years ago...I was definitely on the rebound at the time although I thought I was 'moving on' by joining OLD. So, I met this guy on match during that rebound time. The guy, Ian, was really great. We had a lot in common and there was mutual interest. He pursued me a lot :) We dated for about a month and had several dates--never even kissed. Right when it would get to that level, I would pretty much pull away and try to slow things down like we were just friends. Well, I was torn because I was still getting over my X. It was a bad situation...I shouldn't have joined OLD so soon (I am completely aware of this and wouldn't repeat the same mistake). I was a mess. My X started calling me again and I drifted off from Ian. It took me about a year to get over my X. It was pretty bad. I had thought about Ian months later and thought I could never contact him again ..I just felt like, if only the timing was better...
So fast forward to now. I move to this new city halfway across the US from home, and am completely ready to get invovled with someone, ready to have a serious relationship (emotionally available) and lo and behold there is Ian on my new more specific dating site (jewish one) and it says he lives HERE where I live now!! I remembered that he is originally from this city and his family lives here. I immediately emailed him through the dating site. He replied and we were all nostalgic and happy to talk to each other again. Well, we talked on the phone that week (this was about a month ago). We talked about getting together but he acted hesitant (understandably). I knew I needed to tell him that I always thought highly of him but I was at no place to be dating after I had just broken up with someone and that my head was in a fog. So, we basically cleared the air about the past. We've chatted here and there, but never made solid plans. I was happy that I cleared things up with him and just thought I'd leave the ball in his court to try or not try to date again.
Well, I talked to him tonight and we set a date for tomorrow night! Wouldn't it be crazy if we totally hit it off!

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He is such a nice guy and even sweeter than I remembered. He was on call for work so he couldn't go too far from home just incase he'd get called in. I offered to drive up there (since I already dated him in the past). He thanked me for driving all that way and he even called me about an hour before the date to make sure I didn't want to schedule it for another night since he wouldnt be able to drive to me. Well, he never got called, so that's good! At the end of the date he walked me to my car and he even told me to call him when I get home since it was a bit of a drive (only 20 mins!), to let him know I got home okay. That is really a big plus for me...(not once did michael say anything like that to me when i was dating him--one reason i lost interest in michael.) By the time I got home, Ian had already called me once to make sure I got home okay. I called him right back and told him I just got home...right then and there he asked if we could go out this weekend!
You never know who will be the one to ghost! Honestly, I feel indifferent about it. I really don't care this happened. There are some other guys I am very interested in getting to know right now. Besides I can't be with a guy who has a gucci wallet!!!!!!!!!!!!! I saw that when we were out to dinner and thought it was so odd for him to have, but I finally looked away and made myself promptly forget it. lol, until now. It's funny, I will completely ignore the seemingly unimportant petty nuances but they all come back when i get ghosted on. Is that not just dorky that he had a gucci wallet!!!!!!!!? It was a trifold and I had to take a double take at it...I was thinking, am I seeing this right!? From what I knew about his personality, I would never suspect he'd want to carry a wallet like that. That's just goofy
Oh no, that sucks! I just read your first post this morning and I was sure the outcome would be better...I was so disappointed for you when I read your update. Have you tried contacting him? Maybe something came up, or perhaps he wants you to pursue him this time. He could be insecure about the way things happened when you dated before.
I laughed about the Gucci wallet - isn't it funny how the little things don't matter until we have a reason to let them matter?
It sounds like you are keeping a positive attitude about the whole thing (just keep remembering that Gucci wallet! LOL), but I would try to contact him just in case he is waiting on you, IMHO. You never know...
I would normally have no problem contacting a guy, but it was the way he replied to my suggesting Friday and said, "we'll figure it out" very quickly. It was inconvenient for him to let me know right then which night. So, I wanted to let him get back to me about it. The ball was in his court because I already said which times would be best for me.
Oh well! Gucci wallet! ;)
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