Really taking a break this time

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Really taking a break this time
6
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:01am

So i had a horrible date friday night. With a guy who looked nothing like his picture, and just seemed so different in person than what he seemed to be over IM. I tried to make the best of it, we had dinner and he proceeded to tell me how his ex fiance had him arrested accusing him of assault and she ended up going to a psych ward. I had a martini and laughed it off, but at one point i really wondered if i was going to make it back to my car safe. He went on about how his parents are divorced and his dad didnt go to his college graduation, he seemed angry talking about it and mentioned that he has been on anti depressants since high school. I saw him taking pills before every course he had, i asked what they were, he said he's lactose intolerant and that all people except northern europeans are. Ok, i'm empathetic and understand if someone is lactose intolerant and could care less. But if you had this disease (Or whatever it is) would you honestly take a pill at the TABLE with someone you were on a first date with?? i certainly would be doing that in the bathroom. I said i had to go home after we were done and he asked if i was sure. I said yes. He said, oh too bad you wont get to meet the kids this time. He laughed and was like, my dogs, i mean. I was thinking, he actually thought i was going to go in his house?? Ugh. He told me he hoped that i was everything he expected and that i exceeded his expectations. Great, so happy that someoen like this was into me!

I was supposed to have a lunch date with someone else today, but i cancelled it. This person had IMed me friday night and we talked, he actually seemed very nice and when he was leaving said he wanted to meet up sometime. We chose today at lunch. So we didnt really talk again for the rest of the weekend, the sunday i imed him, we chatted, nothing mentioend about lunch. Yesterday i IMed him again asking if we were still on (hey i figured he asked me originally) he said yes we were but he had to somewhere to be at 1:45, i said, ok when should we meet, he said 12:30, we swapped cells. Today i woke up and didnt want to go. Call me a little old fashioned in some ways, but if he had really been wanting to go, i think he'd have contacted me or sent an email. so i messaged him telling him i had a work lunch. He wrote back saying that was fine and we could go another time...whatever. Im just tired of going on unfullfilling dates. This lunch date would have made my day more hectic, so why go on it when i didnt feel like there was excitement on either end about it. At the same time maybe people who do OLD realize there is no reason to get excited about dates.

So i am keeping my profile up, but i refuse to go on another date for a while...not unless i really feel interested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:14am

well...I know what you mean...its like a date like that makes you want to crawl under a rock for the next decade!
BUT...what I have learned is that when you think you have finished with all of this nonsense and 'thrown in the towel' something of someone really special comes around...That has been my experience

Just call it a learning experience..makes your instincts a little more honed into what you really want!

Cheers
swh

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 11:03am
What an awful date. That guy made all his problems a little too obvious (not just the lactose-intolerant issue). sorry, but that's funny he actually thought you'd be going home with him.
I don't blame you for canceling the date with that other guy. Maybe a break from dating will refresh you. I think ppl should get a little excited about a first date. I rarely agree to a date if I am that indifferent about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 6:27pm
Your stories and the way you are writing remind me of the difficulties I went through with the online dating bit so remember even if it gets frustrating beyond belief and you are just tired of the BS that others have been there too and you are not alone. It does help to just take a break for awhile or just throw your hands up and give up for a bit and try your best to leave it up to god. As soon as I just said I've had it with dating and cancelled my subscription and was planning on not starting another online dating profile until after the holidays and was seriously going to stick to it, that's when I met this new guy. Sure I emailed him first and he was my last ditch effort since I had a couple of days left before the subscription expired, but things are still going very well so far and I met him about 3 weeks ago now and we've been on maybe 8 outings or so. Not to say he's the one but there is awesome potential here so far and things with him just feel easy and different. So never give up hope, you can give up for the meantime and focus on other things and forget about dating for now but you should never give up the faith or hope.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 6:58pm
Thanks (: I"m glad things are going so well with your new guys! sounds great (:
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 7:05pm
"REALLY taking a break this time ....

So i am keeping my profile up, but i refuse to go on another date for a while...not unless i really feel interested."


LOL, a bit torn there? lol

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2006
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 8:11pm

I hear ya!! I am planning on taking a break till the new year, I have recently added two guys to my instant messanger list, and if they dont pan out, oh well, I'm tired of being so disappointed by dates, because of the lies or mis-representation, or getting psyched after a few "outings" and then the guy going missing without any explanation!?!?

I just wish I could randomly meet someone to spend some time with, cause online dating is getting on my nerves!!

I need to find some sort of club or volunteer organization I can join with a lot of intelligent and goodlooking twenty something guys...

-Glasses