Really! What did happen...?
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| Tue, 02-22-2005 - 7:39pm |
I am new to this board, but not new to online dating and this one just stumps me.
I really hate this stuff when it happens and this time I really don't get it. I believe myself pretty well versed when it comes to dating and can pick up on the slightest of uninterested traits. However this one baffles me.
This guy contacted ME, I didn't contact him, about a month ago. We met very shortly after and had a REALLY good time and we made plans to see each other again. We made plans for a week after our first meeting talked on the phone and emailed quite frequently. All was great! We went out on our first date to dinner and again had a REALLY good time. Flirting, held hands, and he kissed me on the cheek and we said our good byes. We talked and emailed more and met up again a few days later on Valentines day, we went to a movie and he brought me a rose. The next day he made a crazy suggestion that we hop on a plane and fly down to Cabo for the weekend. I replyed back saying, whoa... I am not ready for that, he said he was just joking and wanted to see what I would say and wondered why if I was cautious from the last relationship. I said I am cautious because I don't want to screw up or freak out. He's 38 and I'm 33, neither of us ever married nor any children. We set up tentative plans for this past weekend and he never called. He mentioned there was a HUGE audit at work and would be going up to his cabin over the weekend. I left him a message yesteday saying hello and nothing. I emailed him today asking if he was OK and if he was still alive. Still nothing!
I just don't get it. He said things were at a start of something really great and I agreed, he wanted to get to know me better and so it seemed he wanted to start something serious, then he drops off the face of the earth.
We all have our little insecurities and they have to come out eventually, and as soon as they do. WHOA watch out, she's cautious, you probably will have problems with her... I mean come on! I think if he was really interested, he'd at least try to talk to me about it. And he's not perfect, but I was willing to look past it and accepted him for who he was.
What the heck happened? Any ideas?

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Hope that helps!
Good Luck with everything.
GM
It's such as cool concept to rate dates - but I don't see many people rushing to enroll. Who'd be enthusiastic to start up with someone who had "100 positive feedbacks". My first thought would be that the person recruited those 100 people to say nice things. My second thought would be that they had 100 "no connections" and I'd probably take that as a negative.
I think the dating sites have toyed with "certifying" people as to their status (married / single / divorced) -- but to date only one or two have actually done it. Seems to me that it's too expensive to do those investigations and that instead of tagging people an extra $20 to be investigated they'd do a LOT more business selling guides to online dating for $20. I know I'd be buying one.
Just think if they packaged all the types of tips we discuss here and offer it to a newbie dater -- even if it was given away for free I think that would increase their member satisfaction rate.
Imagine if newbies understood ghosting and the "hiding our profiles" discussion before they even started. I have to think many would stay around longer (seems lots sign up for the 30 day plan).
Better yet - imagine if Match (or any site) started a newsletter that ran monthly with tips and not just silly promos from authors hawking books...
>>Seems to me that it's too expensive to do those investigations<<
I know that True, who makes it sound like they are aggressively ensuring that their users are single, doesn't actually DO anything to find that out. Their idea is that they will sue/prosecute anyone who is NOT and who pretends that they are.
Well, big deal- until they actually nail some people doing that, it's all just talk. Didn't someone on here mention a while ago that they came across a married guy on True?
Yep that was me. The ring in the primary photo gave it away.
Lisa
Hi lg,
I think I read in one of the previous posts that you've been doing OLD for some time now, well I think that YOU need to write that book with the hints, tips and explanations of what OLD is really about - you'd make a ton of money!!!
... Even You Can Do Online Dating!... How to Navigate Through Online Dating... I bet you could come up with a better title than I can!!!
Sunshine
I'd snag the title from Al Franken:
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at Online Dating
Hi lg,
That sounds like a better title, but I was serious about you writing it!
Sunshine
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