RED flags shoud these be w/ old and irl?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
RED flags shoud these be w/ old and irl?
11
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 11:28am

what is your experience w/ men that come on strong and say these things/regardless if they seem like player or a decent guy , do you think men that tell you these things /its all part of dating strategy, and how many times have you heard these things for only the man to poof afterwards?? any anything else you want to add to the list?? and this is for OLD and IRL...

but this is what I say: they say:
wow never felt this way before/so attracted/chemistry
you are smart/intelligent.pretty everything I am looking for..
let's snuggle
Wow you have your head on straight, smart/school, take care of yourself, most women i date/run into just want a guy to take care of them. (do you know how many smart/intelligent women i know nowadays give me a break!!! )

futurisms/ in the first week about your "future" together.
promises..unkept

I miss you in the first week/

classic case of blowtorching/imbalance.. moving too fast.. and then they come to some sort of "realization" after their high and move on to the next..

what say you? I guess it's a just a caution not saying that they don't mean it, or didn't feel it but just don't put them on a pedestal soo fast.. and the ones that don't do this may have more substance?? balance w/r'ships.??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 1:38am
The irony of my case (I replied to this post earlier about being dumped 2 days after the moving in together talk) is that I went into this pretty much knowing he was a player. First clue...his match.com user name is TESTERONE. Misspells Testosterone...LOL. He looks like a young Ozzy Osbourne and he's British. His profile made me laugh. He'd winked me while I was on a hiatus from match, when I renewed about 2 weeks later I thought... What the hell! This guy looks like fun, emailed him explaining my delay in responding to his wink and he emailed me back the same day. We set up the date to meet the following Saturday.
He was a hoot and I knew he wasn't LTR material and I was ok with that. I was having a blast and I told him that. I was still active on match (not making dates but checking my emails and sending polite "no thank yous"). I got a laugh one time when he was online once at the same time I was. I emailed him "You are so busted;) OOOPS!" Note: He was always "Active within 24 Hours".
The point is that he didn't have to make any promises or plans to keep me around. This really was just a great hook-up and I was willing enjoy the ride. That's why I'm so pissed off... he was even more devious because it's like he was systematically testing me. He totally reeled me in hook line and sinker. It was a challenge to him and when he got me, the game was over.
So any ladies out here in the SF Bay Area...be forewarned if this one sends the wink.
Chele
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