the repeat dude

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
the repeat dude
4
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 11:47am

So, I'm back on CL again, recovering from my pretty boy episode.

I email to one of the ads. Turns out it's from a guy I turned down months ago. I had gave him back then a reason that I was just coming out of a LD/LTR and I wasn't ready to begin again, which was totally true.

Should I bring it up to him that we've "met" before and give him a try? I think he remembers me as well, although he hasn't brought it up yet. I generally know what he looks like since he had sent me a photo the first time, but he doesn't know what I look like because I had turned him down before I had the chance to send him a photo.

Boy, the pickings on CL are getting slim. I must've went through everybody and now, I'm starting to pick the repeaters. I usually see this guy's ads on CL - he's a repeater. I'm starting to wonder why he's always on CL...hmmm...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 11:54am

Well, that depends...what was the real reason you turned him down? Obviously if you were on CL at the time, you were open to a relationship, right, so I'm thinking there must have been another reason.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 12:13pm

Ok, Sheri, you caught me!

The coming out of a LD/LTR was PARTIALLY the reason. Do I really have to admit to the other reason???? Oh, ok....

He's athletic and handsome in the photo and I didn't (and still don't) know if he'd be interested in a woman who has a "few extra pounds" to her. Yes, here I go again basing stuff on just a photo, but I was right with pretty boy, right?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 12:30pm

Well, yeah, there pretty much had to be another reason, given that you were on CL, LOL!

As someone who is overweight also, I go through the same thing. What I do if I'm answering CL ads is first off, not answer any ads where they are very focused on the woman being HWP or in shape, and second, say in my response something like, are you open to dating plus size women? I'm a bit overweight, but I'm pretty active and enjoy some of the same activities you do, such as hiking and skiing (or whatever--tailored to his ad).

If he says ok, then I send a pic. I've had some really good-looking, in-shape guys be attracted to me, so not all guys are going to be put off by you being a little overweight.

If you decide to continue corresponding with this guy, I think I would just go ahead and send your pic, saying, we emailed a few months ago and at the time I was just coming out of a LTR so I stopped writing. I'm attaching a photo of me; if you're interested in corresponding further, I'll look forward to hearing from you.

And then let it go. If he doesn't respond, he doesn't...no big deal, you're not his type.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 8:26pm

Thank you a million, Sheri!

I followed your advice. I sent him my best pic of myself and told him that I was "a few extra pounds".

He wrote back telling me that I was pretty.

I'm so happy I'm over the hump with the photo exchanging! Now, I have to try to keep this guy's interest...and to also remember not to invest my whole heart on one guy.