Respond or not-

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
Respond or not-
5
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 6:48pm
Well, I rejoined match.com. I've only been on about a week. My big question is how todeal with e-mails from men you are not interested in. I feel like ajerk ignoring them, but I feel like a bigger jerk sending them an e-mail saying I don't think we're a match, like who am I? You know what I mean? I also can't think of a way to word it that would make me feel any better about sending it. So far, I've just ignored the e-mails, but I feel like a creep. What do you do? Which is the better choice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
In reply to: momma215
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 7:21pm

Personally, if I responded to every guy that I didn't feel was a match, I wouldn't have much time to get to know the ones that I think could be a match. Not to say that I'm that wonderful that I have hundreds of guys after me, but you know what I mean.
Now, from my experience, the guys I have responded to telling them no thank you have always come back and wanted to know why. Do I have time for that? No. Do I have time to sit and correspond with someone who I have no interest in corresponding with in the first place? No. Nor do I want to!!!
I too feel like a creep not responding to all of these people, but some of them are just so blatently obvious that I wouldn't be interested (i.e. the fact that I specify I am only interested in black men, or that I'm 30 and some of these men have been older than my father.), and it's at that point that I just ignore it, because I figure if they didn't take the time to read my profile or use common sense, then I am not going to bother myself with common courtesy. Sounds rude, yes, but it's that thick skin getting too thick, as I read in another thread. It happens.
There's my input.

M


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
In reply to: momma215
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 7:40pm
ITA!!! :-)

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
In reply to: momma215
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 9:10pm
sorry, clueless on that one..."ITA"?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: momma215
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 9:25pm

I Totally Agree.

But on that ITA. You do not need to respond to every email or wink you receive. You're not being a creep if you do not. Personally, I do not send those unless 1) the guy sends 3 or more winks/emails and doesn't take the silent traatment as answer enough or 2) we've been out once or twice and there is no connection but also not a "mutual ghosting" where we both kind of drift off due to the obvious lack of connection.

Anyway, stop feeling guilty for not responding. It's not a big dea. In fact, I HATE receiving those myself. I might get all excited seeing that the person wrote me back to open it up and it's one of those lovely "thanks but you're a loser" emails. Silence is golden to me!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
In reply to: momma215
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 9:48pm
Thanks for the input. I do feel better and vexer, you gave me a good laugh with the "thanks, you're a loser" comment. That's exactly what I DON"T want to send. Actually, the couple that I ahve intiated an e-mail and haven't heard from...I'm disappointed, but do think I prefer the lack of response to the "you're a loser" one.