RL situation question

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
RL situation question
6
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 9:14pm
I haven't been around much...not on any OLD sites right now...but I have a RL situation question. A friend I know from my old job called last week and said "do you remember ****?...well he's separated now and has his own apartment and would like to meet someone, can I give him your number?"...I sorta said whatever...bad idea...I should have just said no (I have a problem with that word!). He called tonight and wanted to know my plans for this weekend. Which, actually, is booked. So he said maybe we could have lunch friday. He gave me his cell phone # and said to call him. I did tell him that I have ALOT going on in my life right now and not really interested in meeting anyone, which is very true. Here's the thing: he alot older than me (I'm 41 and he in his mid 50's), he has a granddaughter older than my son!! No offense to anyone...but he's really into NASCAR and I definitely am not! big turnoff...So how can I get out of this situation? I know it will get back to my friend and she'll say "but he's really nice and you should give him a chance"..blah blah blah. I'm just not interested and I don't want to hurt his feelings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 9:34pm

I would start by saying I definitely DO NOT DATE ANYONE STILL MARRIED!

Linda
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 9:45pm

Donna! How are you?! I have missed your posts.

I see nothing at all has changed with the men in your life.

He gave you his number, so just...don't...call...it.

As for when, not if, your friend checks up on you, tell her you are not interested in the guy and give...no...reasons...why. As in, End of Convo.

He's probably busy phoning all the women your friend has given him the numbers to, right?

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Sun, 05-08-2005 - 10:10pm

You have to please *you*, not your friends.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 12:17am

Hi Donna,

I agree with the others, just don't call him, but if you feel that you need to say something to him, then tell him you don't date married men. Separated isn't divorced and they can go back together at any time - I feel that separated to many men means "time to play and have fun". Good luck.

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 2:55am

>> I'm just not interested and I don't want to hurt his feelings.<<

I'd say you call him up and say "listen, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm just not interested. I'm sorry that XXX gave you my number, but it's not going to happen. Good luck, IckyOldNASCARGuy!"

Okay, maybe leave that last part out. But try the whole "be kind but honest" thing. It works better than anyone gives it credit for.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 6:08am

I'd go with a more ironclad excuse - because if you give the "don't date separated men" he could come back with a "my divorce is final next week"

Better to just give an outright no and be done with it.