Rude to ask for pic before meeting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Rude to ask for pic before meeting?
7
Wed, 03-22-2006 - 9:31pm
I have arranged to meet someone this weekend but I haven't seen a pic. He hasn't seen mine. I have one to show, just haven't posted one to my profile. Not comfortable with it. When we were making plans he apologized for not having a pic to show. It's bothering me that he doesn't have one. However, I feel like if I ask for a pic I'll come across as being shallow. If I could see a pic it would alleviate a lot of the anxiety about meeting. Do you think it would be inappropriate to ask to see a pic? Thanks :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 03-22-2006 - 9:54pm

Definitely not!

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 8:16am

When it comes to OLD it is NOT shallow to ask for a picture. Regardless if you have been chatting with him and have set up a meet without either one of you seeing each other -- well there may be some anxiety but you both are in the same predicament. I personally would leave things the way they are and meet him. Some posters have had good experience; unfortunately all my blind dates were men I was not physically attracted to.

I'm not sure what you have planned; but hopefully it's something light and don't hang more than an hour -- no matter what he looks like.

If you have anxiety you must have some expectations rolling around in your head. Remember, NO expectations. Anyway he could look good and have a bad attitude. You don't know this guy so just stay open to meeting someone new.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 10:14am

Asking for a pic is definitely not shallow, not in OLD and anyone who responds negatively to a request for a pic is usually hiding something, low-self esteem at best.


When I first started OLD I broke 2 cardinal rules with a no pic guy I connected with through Craigs List. Besides the no pic deal,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 10:40am
Ask for a pic! No big deal, he sends you one, you send him yours. Humans are visual creatures so why waste his time and yours if you can tell if you're attracted to someone or not through a photo? Besides, if you DO decide to meet, how are you going to pick him out of a crowded coffee shop if you've never seen him? Having to say "I'll be the girl at the cafe wearing a red hat" is wayyyyyy cheesier than sending a photo.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 10:55am
Someone's physical image is important. Of course you are right in-line to ask for a picture. Anyway, youve got to know who to look for when you go meet!!! There is nothing shallow about this. Even if looks don't matter too much to you based on some awesome connection you seem to have with him...what if he looks completely slobby and long hair? and what if you are a very maticulous person...his pic would shed more light on his whole person. Even if I had great chemistry on the phone with someone, a slobby appearance would completely change my perception of him.
I think it's questionable that he says he doesnt have a pic. Preparing for online dating, it is reasonable to require pictures to share with ppl.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 2:32pm

I think it's vital to have a pic before meeting. We can read alot from a pic that may save your life.

And yes...there is a good reason why he doesn't have one. Who signs up with a dating service online without pictures when they are seriously looking for a relationship?

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 4:25pm
Thanks for all the great responses! I'll keep you posted.