Sad part of meeting someone online
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 02-23-2006 - 11:22am |
As I posted here before I "accidentally" met a man on ICQ while surfing the net watching the Nascar race. We have bonded beyond belief. That does not mean we have feelings for each other but have become great friends. It's the sad side of the whole thing. I spent a couple of years participating in online dating and I did it quite immaturely. I fell for the first person that came by and wasted hours of my time chatting with people who I knew (didn't want to face facts) wasn't compatible. I have been treated so poorly by those men and I continued to throw myself right back into the mix hoping to find that certain someone that would not treat me the way the others have. That did not happen. So I stopped...knowing that was still an option in the future.
I learned that meeting people locally and having relationships with men face to face is far more healthy than meeting people that live out of state and better yet in far off lands. I have become much more secure in myself in knowing that when the time comes I can make the right choice whether it's dating online or otherwise. I know I purposely chose men in far off lands to protect myself as I discovered I really was afraid of being intimate with men. I have solved that through counseling and life goes on.
The point of this post is armed with all of what I have learned I meet Tom who really is a great guy. I have made sure that our friendship remains a healthy mix of getting to know each other and no nasty webcam games that most online men desire. He is currently separated and in the throes of divorce and is frightened of his future dating. He is in no way ready for a relationship with anyone. But the sad truth is I ache to know him face to face. The first time I have ever felt this way about anyone I have met online. I want to be his friend face to face. Nothing more at this point. I hate that at some point he will find the woman of his dreams and I would have not been given a chance. Not sure if I should just cut my losses and move on.
We spend some time chatting each night and email each other once during the day. We were talking last night about how great it is that we met. He said that he appreciates me so much because I help him get through the day. I am honest with him about the men in my life and he teases me about them. As a matter of fact on Sunday during the Daytona 500 my phone rang as I chatted with Tom it was my friend who I am working on slowing dating. I told Tom that I was on the phone and who was calling and he got a bit sarcastic and signed off. I also have a Y/M that I have very strong feelings for that work with me that I have decided to not pursue a more serious relationship.
My life is full with men, weight-loss, friends and family but I know that Tom is someone who would be considered a serious relationship if we were in the same vicinity. That is the sadness of Online Dating.
Sorry just wanted to vent.
F

The idea of not getting a chance just because you don't live in the same area can be totally annoying. And it's a hard thing to work around.
I mean, theoretically, you could go hang out as friends. But making the trek to spend time with someone like that necessarily becomes a big deal. If you lived in the same area, hanging out as frieds would be no big deal. But can you even hang out just as friends when you have to go so much out of your way to do it? Does that necessarily mean that there's something more than friendly interest there?
Tough situation, definitely.